5 People to Put On Your “No Bone” List
Finding a match these days can feel like finding a needle in a haystack, especially when you think about the fact that there are over 7 billion people on the planet. But instead of letting that overwhelm you, I like to think of all the potential.
Every time you leave your house, there’s a possibility of meeting your next great love (or next great hookup). It could happen at your local coffee shop, the dog park, a new cafe you’ve been wanting to try… Still, with all the possibilities for “meeting cute”, there are some people you may run into that should forever remain OFF the menu.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a spontaneous hook up as much as the next single guy. But after a lot of trial and error, you figure out that there are some hook ups that just aren’t worth the drama.
So in the spirit of less conflicts and more amazing sex in 2017, here are the 5 people that belong on your “Do Not Bone” list.
Your Friend’s Brother/Sister
We see these flings in chick flicks all the time, but our lives aren’t carefully scripted with fabulous climaxes and award winning performances. Your friend might have a handsome brother or a beautiful sister who thinks you’re cute, but believe me when I say that this nookie is not worth pursuing. Even if the timing is right, even if you have your friend’s approval on your side, this combination is sealed tight with hidden baggage.
When things don’t go as planned, your friend may defend their sibling and leave you hanging. Or it could create a divide between the closest of siblings and ruin a loyal friendship in the process. Even a positive hook up experience can affect your friend’s family chemistry if the word gets out, or at the very least, make it awkward for you to continue hanging out at the house. If you value a good friendship, maintain a platonic relationship with your friend’s siblings and find someone with less strings attached.
This one hits close to home—Literally! Your neighbors might seem like the ideal candidates for casual sex AT FIRST, but this ill-advised encounter can easily turn a happy home into a nightmare. If the sex doesn’t work out, dodging your neighbors will become a difficult chore that you have to do every day.
Think about it: They know when you’re home, what car you drive and they probably see you every day without even trying. Adding sex to this bond is sure to break some boundaries that you can’t get back. You might even start to feel like your guy or girl next door is invading your sanctuary when they’re really just sharing the neighborhood with you. The best way to avoid awkward run-in’s after ignoring your neighbors’ booty calls is to abstain from hooking up with your neighbor in the first place. If you’re a sucker for local lovers, look for hook ups that are, at the very least, a couple of blocks away.
College campuses are full of sex-crazed students exploring their sexuality with whomever they cross paths with (it’s what college is all about, right?), but there are some lines that should not be crossed… And that is the line between professor and student.
This is a terrible idea that never ends well; in fact, it can possibly ruin a professor’s career, not to mention their reputation. And seeing as how there is never a shortage of news stories featuring philandering teachers and students putting in office hours for extra credit, it’s safe to say that these secret hook ups don’t stay secret for long. Any hint of evidence of an alleged affair between a student and professor can spark a campus-wide scandal with serious consequences. Save the consensual hook ups for the dorm rooms or wait until after graduation to pursue a crush on your professor outside of school grounds.
Many people believe they’ll find “the one” at work, especially if they’re looking for someone who shares their career goals, and they might not be far off. It’s true that the office is filled with potential lifetime partners, but it’s NOT the scene for casual lovers. An office hook up can greatly disturb the work flow, whether it’s just between the two co-workers or manages to slow down their entire team. This goes DOUBLY if the co-worker also happens to be your boss. Word gets around fast, and trust me when I say that you don’t want to be that person in the office.
Keep it professional at any office parties you attend, stay away from the alcohol if you’re known for making risky decisions under the influence and save the flirting for someone outside the workplace. A moment of passion with your colleague is not worth losing your job.
Your Best Friend’s Ex
As many of us already know, sleeping with your best friend’s ex is one of the cardinal sins of mankind. Some friends may get off sleeping with the same people and might even compare their romps, but that usually only applies to casual sex. Once the tryst crosses over into dating territory, that person is eternally off limits.
It doesn’t matter how long your BFF has been broken up with their ex. It doesn’t matter if the two ended on good terms. It doesn’t matter if they pretend to be okay with it. In the end, it will always end up being a point of contention between you, your friend and their ex-lover. Is one (or ten) nights of casual sex really worth all the upset? Probably not. So do the right thing, be a good friend and find another human to have sex with… One who isn’t connected to any of your loved ones.
Of course you want to get a taste of everything the world has to offer, but there’s a fine line between who is safe to date and who will bring you nothing but trouble. Sex shouldn’t come with a side of relationship-ruining, career-ending consequences. Now get out there and meet your next, new bone!