5 Ways To Reconnect With Your Partner

reconnect blog sex with emily

reconnect blog sex with emilyLong-term relationships are hard. Through the ups, downs, arguments, and compromises you’ll probably reach a point where you feel disconnected from your partner. 

We all want to make love work and prioritize our relationships. But you might need some guidance to help keep things on track.


In all relationships, there comes a time when the honeymoon period fades. You’re left wondering where the spark has gone. Why does it seem harder to get in the mood? Why you aren’t jumping each other’s bones anymore? It seems like what happened naturally has now become work. This is all completely normal and you can get back to a close and loving place.

You and your partner are a team, you’re not on your own – you can solve it together! If you’re feeling some distance has grown between you and your partner, here are five ways that can help you reconnect.


1. Reconnect with yourself first

When we’re feeling less connected to our partners, especially in the bedroom, we can feel disconnected from  ourselves, too. Especially with kids, work, family, and friends, we tend to put ourselves last on our priority lists.

Take some time to do something that relaxes you. This could be reading a nice book, taking a bath, or having an uninterrupted glass of wine. Once you’re relaxed, make some time for your pleasure, too, which means a little self-love action. The more connected you feel to your own body, the more capacity you have to reconnect with your partner. 


2. Put the Phone Away

The average person checks their phone over 60 times a day. People who bring their phone to bed are two times more likely to engage with their phone than their partner the hour before sleep. If you’re already struggling to connect to your partner, bringing your phone to bed definitely isn’t helping.

I always say the bedroom is for sleep and for sex, and electronics should be kept as far away from the bed as possible. Before bed, instead of scrolling through Instagram or going over those last few work emails, spend that time talking, cuddling, or just being with your partner. You’ll start to feel more connected when you unplug. 


3. Prioritize your Relationship

So often we forget to actually prioritize our relationship, especially when children are added to the mix. Remember that while you’re parents, you’re also lovers. Talk with your partner about ways that you can prioritize intimacy in your relationship – and take some time for yourselves. Whether that’s a vacation away for a night, or even 30 minutes of uninterrupted time talking to each other, it’s important to make sure you have some focus for each other.


4. Do A Date Night

Speaking of prioritizing your relationship, date nights should be a weekly event in your schedule. Okay, at least twice a month. It doesn’t have to break the bank either, it could be as simple as taking a walk in the downtown area of your city, or a picnic in your local park.

As long as you’re spending quality time together, without discussing work or the kids, and just focusing undivided attention on each other. Talk a walk down memory lane, reminisce about your past together, and flirt like you used to!


5. Scheduling Sex

Now that date night is tucked away in your calendar, it’s time to had sex on there, too. When we keep waiting for the sex to happen in the midst of client meetings, baseball games, and choir practice, you may end up waiting a very long time.

While it can get a bad rep or be seen as the least “sexy” thing to do, when you put your intimate time on your schedule, you both know when it’s going to happen and you can spend the whole day getting yourselves in the mood. You can send each other texts about how excited you are, set up your space to feel sexy (so no laundry pile in the corner), and make it an intimate and special experience.


These aren’t simple fixes and it’s going to take a lot of healthy conversations with your partner, but if both of you really put in the effort to reconnect, you’ll be back in that loving, close, and connected space before you know it. Hey, it might even be better than your first honeymoon period – but you won’t know until you try. 


This was originally posted on Maria Shriver’s The Sunday Paper.

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