5 Ways To Close The Orgasm Gap
I get asked all the time, ‘Why is it easier for men to orgasm than women?’
Sometimes women ask how to make their man last longer because they aren’t getting their chance, sometimes it’s men asking what they can do to last longer. The bottom line is that it takes men an average of five to six minutes to reach orgasm, while it takes women an average of 15 to 20 minutes. That’s called the ‘Orgasm Gap,’ and it’s an issue that almost all couples have to deal with at some point in their sex lives.
Luckily, techniques exist to help overcome the Orgasm Gap. Here are five of my personal favorites:
1. Foreplay Before The Foreplay
We all know that women like a little foreplay to get them going, but how about kicking off the foreplay before you’re even touching? I love the idea of getting the sexual chemistry going early, so that by the time you’re having sex, it’s already been on your minds for so long that you’re both well on your way. A friend once told me how she and her boyfriend were having dinner in a fancy restaurant and he dared her to take off her panties and put them in her purse — without leaving the table. She was so hot by the time they got home, he could barely keep up with her!
2. Communication Is A Lubrication
Anyone who listens to my podcast knows that I’m all about communicating in the bedroom. If your guy is coming too fast, the worst thing you can do is get frustrated and turn away from him. While there are biological contributors to premature ejaculation, there are lots of psychological ones, too. Make sure your guy knows that you’re on his side and this is something you want to work on together. Just being able to trust each other and talk about what’s going on may be all you need.
3. A Little Help
Science has come a long way! There’s this great over-the-counter spray called Promescent that helps men last longer. It’s a mild desensitizing spray that helps him control the timing of his orgasm but doesn’t take away any of the pleasure. I recently tried this with a guy I was dating. He didn’t have an issue with PE (premature ejaculation), but why not go longer? It was great for both of us. He could relax and have fun instead of just worrying about coming too soon.
4. It Takes Two
If the two of you can’t get your timing right, work on it together. Do some exploratory “research” by trying different things to see what might work better. Do you need to slow things down? Should you switch up your positions? If you’re invested in making things better, take some time to explore your options. Even the excitement of doing something new might change up your rhythm enough to slow things down and take it to another level.
5. There’s Something About Mary
Who hasn’t seen that scene in the movie with Cameron Diaz? Ben Stiller masturbates before their date and shows up with some goo in his hair that she thinks is gel. In certain cases, masturbating before a date is a great way to warm-up before sex. I call it pre-gaming. I tell guys all the time that if they’re nervous before a date, it’s a great option to help them relax and take the edge off. Just make sure you clean up the evidence before you pick up your date!
I hope these are helpful tips. If you have any more, I’d love to hear them.
Originally posted on YourTango: ‘O’ Wait: Five Ways To Delay His Orgasm