9 Sexy Things To Do While the Turkey’s Cookin’
We all know what it’s like. You have to pluck feathers off of a giant, naked bird before stuffing it; the gravy is bubbling over; people are texting every five minutes asking questions you clearly answered weeks ago. You’re trying to keep the sweat on your nose from drizzling onto the sweet potato pie Pinterest promised would be easy.
Suddenly you wonder what inspired you to ever sign up for this.
Excess energy in the form of anxiety, nervousness, or stress, is pulsing through your body. What EVER will you do with it?
A lot of us are unaware that anxiety and anger are our body’s physiological responses to urgent situations. Your body, being the magnificent system it is, gives you extra energy (otherwise known as adrenaline) so you can function faster, better, and with hyper-focus to finish what needs to be done.
Well good thing you came to us. Here at Sex with Emily, we enjoy sex AND we enjoy practice. So why not fuze the two and employ all that extra holiday stress in a more exciting way?
Funny AND Sexy:
Laughter is one of the top ways to hack into your physiology and reduce the release of stress hormones. So we suggest – Only cook in an apron! Possibly lingerie. Socks? Not only are we sure you’ll look as ravishing as the end result of your holiday efforts, but it’s hilarious. Plus, it’s hard to be angry when you’re giblets are roaming free and you’re laughing at yourself.
If your family has a sense of humor, or if you’re hosting a Friendsgiving, it never hurts to employ a little raunchy humor. Draw some sexy nipples on your pumpkin pie or use tin foil to craft a silver bikini on the giant bird before you thank it for its service and devour it.
Any Excuse to Kiss:
Kissing releases ALL the happy hormones we have into our system – serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine. Every time a guest complains or something goes wrong- implement a mandatory make-out rule. Do this either in secret or inform your guests of the rule and utilize the PDA as a warning to stop their bitchin’.
No Phone Zone:
Tell people when to be there, what to bring and then put your phone away. In the car; in the mashed potatoes, I don’t care, anywhere but here. According to health.com, every time you get a notification of a call or message your brain gets a little burst of adrenaline and sends your system into fight or flight mode!
Get rid of this and use that extra silence to make-out on the kitchen counter like an adult.
If you have a significant other cooking alongside you or entertaining the family, try to steal away into the pantry for a quickie. You can use the shelves as leverage, and if you have a small vibe handy like the G-ring, it’ll be a satisfying quickie at that.
Douse yourself in lemon/orange scents. Studies suggest that the smell of citrus releases norepinephrine, a hormone that enables a feeling of well being.
Use this helpful fact to get your beau to rub some essential oils on your back for a sultry pre dinner massage. With all the stress of holiday cooking, relaxing and euphoric feelings will be your saving grace.
Blow Some (Non-cooking related) Steam:
Rhythm and repetition in movement calms your nervous system down and eases anxiety. Every time you get triggered, put on a SWE podcast and go on a little stroll around the block while indulging in some sexy food for thought. Or engage in other naked physical activities that might help you burn off some steam in a rhythmic way.
Take an Orgasm Break:
When you’re waiting for the timer to ding, sneak off for a well-deserved orgasm break. Whether you’re a guy or gal or genderfluid, the endlessly flexible, ever creative Crescendo by Mystery Vibe is made for anyone to use, and will definitely have you in state of bliss for the rest of the day.
Give yourself a lil’ something to be grateful for! But, wash your hands before you come back.
A Private Dessert:
Instead of after dinner coffee, why not give the gift of pleasure for dessert! Jo Lube’s Gelato Hazelnut Espresso flavor is a delicious way to show your loved ones you care about their happiness.
Whatever you do to celebrate this holiday, remember to be grateful to your loved ones, for the food on your table, and for being alive at such a sexy time.