A Tale of Anal Sexploration

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It comes without question that our society isn’t at a point where a heterosexual (anyone of any sexual orientation, really) prostate owner can talk about their amazing un-ejaculatory orgasms without fear of a chunk of society hurdling some kind of negativity towards them. 

Even though prostate orgasms fight cancer. They’re literally cancer preventative… But, I digress.

 

While I know we’ll progressively get there (praying, at least), being able to talk about sex in a positive way with my partner without any type of negative stigma was a MUST for me. Having been a frequent listener of the show, naturally explorative, and sexually curious, once my lover and I were already on the topic of relationship status, I dove a little deeper into the conversation to test the sexual waters.

We were in the car (Sex With Emily Pro Conversation Tip!) when I hit them with the knowledge I’ve learned throughout the years via the podcast and college sex ed. I kept everything positive and open between the two of us. Somehow the topic of male multiple orgasms came up (and how men can also achieve this). I was passionately upset about the negative stigma around prostate orgasms, prostate play, and emotional expectations of men in our society. Like crying – everyone needs a good cry sometimes.

I want to say it was my positive tone that made my hubby feel like they had the safe space to reveal to me that they enjoy prostate play. Can I get a chorus of Aaaaaahs please?! It was like the holy grail was being passed to me. While I have never dabbled in booty play, the fact that my lover had was somehow that much more sexy.  That, and the sheer fact of being able to be super open with one another also felt quite amazing.

I could tell they felt kind of shameful about it, but I made sure to really nail it in them that I found it undeniably sexy. Especially that they knew their body that much. That they knew how to please and bring themselves to that level of orgasm. Society, fear, or stigma shouldn’t cheat you out of your orgasms.

Conversations man – gotta love them – and have them. So, if you and your partner are ready to test the waters, here are some tidbits to keep in mind.

THE ACT

Prostate play isn’t an everyday thing for us (although I wouldn’t mind). I want to say it was the random encouragement and revealing my fantasy of giving them a prostate orgasm during sexy talk that lead us to the pleasurable opportunity.  

When the p-spot is stimulated, it can provide some of the most intense, mind boggling orgasms known to man. Giving them, I’d like to add, is powerfully arousing in and of itself.

LUBE LUBE LUBE

When I finally got my hands on that booty, I made sure to ease them into it and to stock up with lots of lube. Like, a lot of lube. We coated the toy, penis, balls, and butt in my favorite System Jo flavor. Playing with the penis, balls, and perineum before diving in (pun intended) really eased us into the experience. So, remember to take your time and have fun with exploring.

I also had a little Foria Awaken within reach. It’s a therapeutic intimate massage oil designed for vulva havers that can reduce physical tension and discomfort. It relaxes you, so why not also use it on the booty? Mixed with a lube for extra slickness made oral and anal that much more fun.  

CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON

There are an immense amount of options when it comes to anal play, but it’s best to start small and work your way up when you’re a novice. Before going to town on the back door, I like to start with fingers, massaging the perineum (skin between testicles and anus) with lube, tickling with oral, or even using a vibe. Perineum play externally stimulates the prostate (the prostate itself is located about two to three inches inside past the anal sphincter).

After some warming up – when they’re ready – I go in with a toy straight for the p-spot. During our play, the G-pop became one of our favorite vibes to use to stimulate the prostate directly – especially because the handle makes it easier for me to use on them. If you’re craving some thrusting variation, the ergonomic design of the Black Pearl will definitely do the trick.

K SPOT BONUS

The K-spot is the area above the sphincter where the top of your cheeks separate. One can stimulate this lil guy by massaging and adding deep pressure to the area. My partner and I like to stimulate their K-spot using Aneros toys like the Progasm or Helix. It doesn’t vibrate, but hits the p-spot, K-spot, and perineum simultaneously – kind of like an anal trifecta. 

AFTERPLAY/ PREPLAY

Communicate, communicate, and communicate some more. Listen to your partner’s do’s and don’ts before, during, and after play. Things might change in the act; nerves arise, cramps could manifest, or orgasms will happen unexpectedly. It’s all the luck of the draw.

Most importantly, pay attention to cleanliness. While in your horny reverie, it can be easy to forget about hygiene mid pleasure. Have baby wipes, sanitations wipes, mouth wash, towels – whatever you and your partner might need – at the ready. That way, you don’t cross contaminate fingers, mouths, penises, toys etc. into places that could cause infection or sickness. Imagine a beautifully long session filled with multiple orgasms for you and your partner ending with a restorative slumber, followed by waking up to a strange burning itch. No thank you. So, make sure you’re prepared.

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