Afterplay: The New Foreplay
For those of you who are least partially keen to the fact that great sex involves MORE than just sex, I congratulate you. You’re halfway there! Most of you are thinking, duh, foreplay, the backbone of any successful sexual bout.
However, there is another section of sex, one that is equally important, that even the most savvy of lovers are not privy to. It’s called afterplay, and it just might be the thing that your bedroom game is missing.
What does afterplay entail, exactly? It may sound like just another go around, but really, it may be the part of your sexual excursion that makes it the best you’ve ever had. In fact, even science says so!
In a recent study conducted by researchers at the University of Kansas, it was revealed that women find afterplay very important, in fact, more important than sex itself. Combined with foreplay before, adding afterplay actually makes the overall sexual experience incredibly more enjoyable, and more likely that it will happen again.
So, before you start moaning and groaning because you already are not the hugest foreplay fan, stop right there. Afterplay, just like foreplay, can make couples closer, emotionally and physically, and enhances the entirety of the sexual experience. Whether you’re male or female, the benefits are there, so don’t knock it before you try it.
Why is it important?
Afterplay differs from person to person, and situation to situation. Although, it is mainly women who view this sexual act as pertinent, men benefit as well. There is something about actions that can convey how you’re feeling to a partner better than words or just having a quickie ever will. So, before you roll over and fall asleep… Don’t.
Just like women need time to get into the mood and aroused, they need time to wind down. Most men only need a few minutes, whereas women may need up to ten or twenty. It’s called a climax for a reason, and if you know anything about plot development, that means there needs to be some falling action. Once the big scene the entire film has been leading up to pops off, there’s a bit of a decline before the credits begin to roll. Same thing goes for sex. Even if you aren’t planning on sticking around for too long, increasing physical and emotional intimacy makes you a better lover overall. Plus, it ensures that the next time you have sex with this person, they’ll be more likely to return the favor in the pleasing department.
How do you do it?
Like I said, afterplay differs depending on your partner. For most, it involves cuddling or snuggling of some sort. Cuddling increases physical and emotional intimacy by allowing close physical contact between two partners. This physicality translates emotionally as well because it brings a feeling of closeness between two people as well as feeling secure or safe. Not to mention that the act of cuddling releases oxytocin, which makes you happy and can relieve pain, and releases other hormones in your body that help fight off infection. So, a few minutes of cuddling can actually make you a healthier person!
Now, not all people are into cuddling, and that’s okay. If you fall into this category, there are plenty of ways to still afterplay it up:
TOUCH ME BABE:
Any type of physical touch after sex makes it better. A few tender kisses on the neck and forehead, soothing back scratches and scalp massages, and even staring into each other’s eyes for an interrupted minute are all great ways to practice afterplay. Heck, even a nice game of patty cake is better than immediate snoring.
HAVE A LAUGH/SHOOT THE BREEZE:
Sex is supposed to be fun, so if it isn’t, afterplay should not be at the top of the docket for your sexual concerns. Laugh about something funny that happened during intercourse or earlier that day, develop some inside jokes, or fall into a conversation that makes you smile. Just because you’re talking after sex, doesn’t mean it has to be about your feelings; it can be any kind of conversation, even a few whispers of sweet nothings can keep the mood. The same hormones released during sex get released when you’re laughing and having fun, so keep the good vibes going with a little chit-chat.
VICE, VICE BABY:
Maybe after sex, you like to unwind with a glass of wine, a bubble bath, or even a cigarette (no judgements). Instead of getting up and doing these activities on your own, do them together! You get to unwind together, keeping you in the same state of mind and sexual bliss. This connection bonds you as partners, lovers, or friends, elevating the comfort level between the two of you.
Depending on the time of day you’re engaging in your sexual act, it may not be appropriate to keel over and fall asleep anyways. A lot of times, a nice shower is what we need to get us from sex mode to life mode, so take a shower together. It refreshes both of you, allows you to actually play around with each other, soaping each other’s bodies, and you clean off whatever fluids, smell, or shame (hopefully none) are left over from the bedroom. Plus, it may result in a round of shower sex. You never know until you try!
I don’t know about you, but after an extensive, passionate, and acrobatic-esque romp in the sheets, I develop an appetite. I’ve just had my workout for the evening and now I’ve got a hankering for a sandwich. After the sex is done, make a snack for the two of you, whether it be some eggs and bacon, leftover lunch from work yesterday, or simply sharing a banana. This is especially beneficial when you planned on going out for a date, but had dessert first instead. Now that both of you are adequately hungry, the awkwardness of dinner conversation will be thwarted by the fact that you’ve already been inside each other, allowing for a nice, comfortable meal.
However you decide to engage in afterplay is up to you and your partner, as long as you both are getting the satisfaction out of it that you need. For couples, you’ll bond more, becoming closer and stronger together. For those who are just having some casual fun, you’ll have a better understanding of intimacy, getting you ready for your next real relationship, while adding some 5 star reviews to your sexual abilities.