Anal Training: A Hands-On Guide

anal training blog sex with emily
anal training blog sex with emily

Photo by Charles 🇵🇭 on Unsplash

When you’re ready to get started on the hands-on practical portion of your anal training, follow this fun and easy guide.

If you haven’t read through the preparation article, do so first.

Each time you move up a size in plugs, go through each of these steps in order. 



Step One: Relax

Remember when I said your butt likes to be wined, dined, and sixty-nined? I meant it! The first step is to relax, and get excited about the process. Please DO NOT USE any numbing or relaxing agents on your anus. These stop the feedback between your anus and your brain and you need that feedback. 

Your anus might need you to slow down, add more lube, change positions, and if you don’t get the feedback to adjust, you persist and can do damage to your butt. If it hurts, you want to know about it. 

Instead, try using something natural, such as the high-quality CBD products from Veritas Farms. These can help you relax and drop into your body. Light a candle, perhaps do some stretching or take a bubble bath. Make the time and space to relax and start slowing down before you approach your bum.


Step Two: Preparation

The common concern I hear most often from my clients is “Will there be poop on my toys/fingers/partner?”. The short answer is “yes, sometimes”. When you play with fire, you get burnt every now and then. It sure is fun to play though.

If there will be rimming involved in this session, for hygiene reasons, you may want to wash off in the shower first with some mild, unscented, sensitive soap (if you have a vulva, the soap should be PH balanced also). Some people like to do an anal enema or douche beforehand, but this is a matter of personal preference. This would be the time to do one if you’d like, you don’t want to do it right before play, trust me! You don’t want a watery butt-related accident on your hands. Or sheets…

Now it’s time to prepare all your handy dandy tools and sex toys. You might want to lay a towel or lovely blanket like the Liberator Fascinator Throe down, and gather your fave sex toys, butt plugs, and lubricants handy. When you’re laying down relaxing and playing with your butt, you don’t want to be popping up and down every time you need another toy or more lube. 


Step Three: Anal Foreplay

Ideally, every anal training session should include a good amount of anal “foreplay” or “outer-play”. I recommend massaging your buttocks with your hands or use a powerful toy like the Magic Wand. Not only does this relax the whole body, but it also helps relax the involuntary muscles in the internal anal sphincter. 

Then you can move to the anus itself, and softly stoke across the area. Experiment with different tempos, directions, pressures, techniques, speeds, etc, and explore what feels best for you. This is a great time to bring in some lube, it will make it feel even better. Because you’ll be using toys later, water-based lubes like the ones from pjur are a great choice to keep your toys safe and your butt happy.

Pro Tip: For added stimulation, use the Zumio to do some pleasure mapping, and pinpoint the exact areas of your anus (only externally with this toy) that feel best for you. 


Step Four: Time to Enter

When you feel ready, you can slowly and gently insert a well-lubricated finger, and continue exploring what feels the best. Because you’re training your anus for bigger toys (eventually), once you feel comfortable with a finger moving in and out, you’ll want to try an anal massage technique. 

Here’s how I like to teach this technique. Ball your non-dominant hand (the hand you don’t write with) into a tight fist. Imagine that fist is your anus. Then insert a finger into the middle of your fist, in through the opening between your thumb and forefinger. Slowly and gently try to massage your fist open. Slow circles with medium pressure usually feel best, but explore your personal preferences. Now try that on your anus. 

When one finger is feeling good, move up to two. If your first plug is the width of two fingers, you can start playing with that. 

Pro Tip: Anytime that anything is going into your anus, measure it with your fingers first. How many fingers wide is it? You should slowly work up to being able to comfortable finger your butt with that many fingers before trying the toy or penis. Pleasure is important, and butts don’t like being rushed! 


Step Five: Holistic Pleasure

Now don’t forget about the rest of your body while you’re giving your booty all this attention. Take time during the anal training process to stimulate your other erogenous zones too. Experiencing pleasure through your other erogenous zones can also help enhance the pleasure when you do get to the butt.

Also, having an orgasm prior to anal exploration can help the pelvic floor and involuntary muscles, making your anal play more successful and pleasurable. During anal stimulation and training, try using your fave sex toy, like a womanizer or zolo cup simultaneously for double the pleasure. 

Pro Tip: You can absolutely buy all the items for your anal training separately if you’d like. However, there’s a high-quality one-stop shop for all your anal training needs. B-vibe has an incredible offering called the Anal Training Kit, which has everything you may need. It has a small silicone plug, a medium-sized vibrating plug, and a large weighted plug. It also includes a handy lubricant applicator, an anal enema, a zipper travel bag for sex on the go, and a sexy handbook for anal play.


Step Six: Moving on Up

When an anal plug becomes really easy to insert, wear comfortable for a while, and play with, moving it in and out, it’s time to move to your next size up. At your own pace, increase the size of your plugs until you hit your goal size.

If you’re doing this anal training to get ready for penetrative sex with a penis or strap-on, aim to have your biggest plug around the same size. 


Anal Training Keeps Sex on the Brain

Anal training is a fantastic way to keep pleasure and sex on your mind. For example, pop in a butt plug and go to the grocery store. The next time you have some housework to do, try inserting a vibrating butt plug and also wearing the Moxie by WeVibe for combined anal and genital stimulation. I guarantee you the housework will be a lot more fun. 

If you have a partner you can also explore some Dominance/submission style dynamics and have them instruct you (or instruct each other if you’re both anal training) on when and where to wear your plugs. This creates fantastic sexual tension, so much so that when you see each other you might just be tearing clothes off.


So there you have it, my complete guide to successful and fun anal training. What’s the part you’re most excited about?

Have questions? We’d love to hear them! Shoot us a line anytime. 


Isabella Frappier is an Australian ex-pat living in LA, who swapped gumtrees for palm trees. She’s a writer and a holistic Sexuality Doula, who specializes in body literacy, sexual sovereignty, and BDSM.
She is also a host on the popular new Sex Magic Podcast. When she’s not busy championing her sex positive agenda, she—oh wait—she’s always busy doing that. Follow her adventures on Instagram.
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