The Art of Decluttering (Your Sex & Dating Life)

outwiththeold

outwiththeold (1)I used to think that the phrase “Less is more” was a lie we told kids so they wouldn’t overdo it on the whipped cream, or sunscreen—basically anything that kids can get their hands on. Then I got older and started accumulating stuff, both literal and metaphorical. Suddenly the idea of “less” seemed a lot more attractive….

I know I’m not alone in this realization. And I know this largely because of the success of the book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”. Seriously, it was the “He’s Just Not That Into You” of home organization — “Why haven’t I been wearing you, floral top? I’m just not that into you.” BAM!

Okay, it doesn’t exactly work like that. But whatever wisdom lies within those 226 pages, it has definitely worked for people. The art of Japanese decluttering has taken this sloppy, crap-accumulating world by storm! I can’t jokingly complain about the state of my closet at brunch without at least 3 of my millennial pals throwing that tiny teal book my way.

Whether the “magic” touted in the title is actually life-changing, or is simply the work of a clever publisher, it seems to speak to our generation on a deep level.

For those of you who might not be familiar, here is a breakdown of the basics of the book:

  1. Tidying up your space is important because it restores balance between you, your possessions and your home.
  2. The best way to get the tidying party started is to go around and hold all of your belongings—like physically hold these things—and ask yourself if they bring you joy.  Does this dress make you feel jubilant? Are you grinning at the mere sight of this blender? Does this half-melted candle warm the cockles of your heart? If not, out it goes!

Of course, there’s a lot more to it than that, but if you seriously get the itch to tidy, just go out and buy the book. It’ll look great on your minimally cluttered coffee table.

In the meantime, let’s get back to that whole “brings you joy” thing.

It might sound a little “love and light-y”, but you’ve got to admit, it makes sense. If something in your life isn’t making you feel good, why hold onto it? Why allow it to take up space in your life? If your current toaster sends you into fits of burnt-toast-infused rage, why wouldn’t you toss it out and find a more pleasant appliance?

The same goes for your personal life. You’ve got a friend who causes you nothing but headaches? Girl, bye. You’ve got a co-worker who contributes nothing to your team but always wants to crash your after-work plans? Hello boundaries. You’re hung up on a dude who refuses to delete his Tinder profile? Swipe left.

Over the years, we all accumulate our fair share of sex and relationship clutter (some might call it baggage, but whatever). Whether it’s a bedroom move our high school boyfriend swore he got out of Playboy, or a bad dating habit we picked up during the “negging” days, we start to get weighed down by all the advice we’ve taken, preferences we’ve developed and experiences we wish we could forget. We can’t possibly form new habits or try new things when we’re stuck re-tracing the patterns we already know by heart—even if they’re bad for us.

You might not be familiar with the Japanese art of decluttering, but how about the age-old practice of spring cleaning? You know, the whole “out with the old, in with the new” song and dance? It’s the same thing, overall. And since the season of spring cleaning is finally upon us, we’ve got a little challenge for you….

Instead of holding on to all of your metaphorical sex and relationship clutter like an emotional hoarder, why not give into the spirit of spring cleaning and decluttering?

Dump all the parts of your bedroom repertoire that aren’t working for you. Throw those tired 1960s dating rules in the trash. Donate your “Little Black (Booty Call) Book” to someone who needs it more than you and commit already!

Once you clear out all the junk and clutter, you may be surprised to find that there’s plenty of space for something new… Whether it be the love of your life, long term relationship bliss, or—dare I say it—multiple orgasms.

What sex & dating habits do you want toSo let’s start with the first part—the getting rid of the things that no longer bring you joy part.

What bad bedroom habits are you ready to throw out with the garbage in the hopes of building something better? What harmful dating trends could you do without in 2017? We want to know!

Send your response to Feedback@SexWithEmily.com by March 27 for a chance to win something exciting AND new: The Magic Wand Rechargeable.

Can’t wait to hear from you…. 

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