Ask Emily: How to Fix My Literal Dry Spell
Q: DEAR EMILY,
My boyfriend and I have always had great sex—and had it pretty frequently. But within the last year, with the crazy-busy schedules we have, we’re having a hard time getting on the same page. When we have sex it’s great, but we never seem to be wanting it at the same time.
Since then, my other problem has been something I’ve never had an issue with before: I’ve been getting dry. It doesn’t happen until my boyfriend puts a condom on. He never thought we needed lube, but it’s making sex uncomfortable and hard to enjoy.
What can I do?Thanks!
Cathy, 24, Missouri
A: HI CATHY,
Different schedules can definitely put a damper on your sex life, and it happens to more couples than you think. Luckily, there’s a pretty easy fix for that: sex dates. While scheduling sex doesn’t sound overly romantic, it’s the perfect way to ensure you both know what’s coming and gives you a chance to psych yourself up! Exchange some titillating texts throughout the day, put on something that makes you feel sexy, and get ready to do what you guys are so great at: having amazing sex.
As for dryness, you aren’t alone there either. This happens to so many women for a variety of reasons—and it doesn’t mean you aren’t getting turned on or there’s anything wrong with you. Hormones, that time of month, and even what you eat can affect the climate down there.
If you want to get over the drought, here are a few tips that can help you out:
Spend more time on you
Make foreplay a priority. Spend more time on you and your pleasure so you’re at the peak of your arousal, and when he goes to put the condom on, keep touching yourself to ensure you stay that way.
Lube is your friend
Lube is an amazing little invention that makes all forms of sex more comfortable—studies even show that women are more likely to orgasm when lube is involved. I recommend System JO’s H2O Jelly: It’s thicker than a regular lube, and you won’t need to keep reapplying, so it won’t disrupt the sexy flow you have going on.