Ask Emily: I’m Too Sensitive to Orgasm
Q: DEAR EMILY,
While I have been masturbating since the beginning of high school, I’ve never had sex. The thing is, I rarely fully get off. I think the only time I have was while using a shower head. I use the Touch by We-Vibe, but once I can feel an orgasm coming on, it becomes harder and harder to get there because my clit becomes too sensitive.
Do you have any tips to help overcome this?
Rachel, 24, NC
A: HI EMMA,
The good news is that you’re not alone in this. In fact, it’s so great that you already are on your way to figuring out your body’s needs, something that I always talk about in my podcast. Every person is different, so while some love and need a lot of direct stimulation, others need a lot less. The clitoris is jam-packed with nerve endings – 8,000 to be exact – so it’s no wonder that some women are hypersensitive.
There are ways to stimulate yourself without getting overwhelmed – all you need is some patience, a little more knowledge, and few new routines.
The clitoris (and the female anatomy in general) is as complicated as it is wonderful. Although it seems small from the outside, the clitoris actually extends inward under your pubic mound, plus, it has legs that extend into your labia, as well as having quadrants (like a graph in math class), with certain parts being more sensitive than others.
Use your hands and explore all around, seeing which areas are too sensitive, and which ones are just right. It may take longer to get off (because fingers don’t vibrate), but taking this time will help you pinpoint where you need to be touched.
Some women are so sensitive, any direct touch on the clitoris is already too much. Instead of going full force on your bare vulva, try using your We-Vibe Touch over your underwear or pants. The extra fabric acts as a buffer between the vibrations and your clitoris – which can help deliver just the right amount of sensations so you aren’t so overwhelmed when it’s time to climax.
You can also try out the Womanizer 2go, a lipstick-shaped toy that delivers indirect stimulation using Pleasure Air™ technology. It has a silicone tip that goes over your clitoris without actually touching it, and has been known to help women who are more sensitive – just like you.