Ask Emily: Running Water is the Only Way I Can Orgasm

Q: DEAR EMILY,

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I’m just gonna dive right in. When I was 17 years old, I had never orgasmed, despite having had one or two sexual partners. So I did some research. I read that placing your clit right underneath running water is a way to reach orgasm! So, I tried it. And to this day, it is the only way I can climax.

I have a serious boyfriend now, who I have amazing sex with, but I don’t orgasm with him. What do I do? Am I doomed to only come in the presence of running water?

May, age 19

A: HI MAY,

Running water is one of the most common ways women experience their very first orgasm—and a pretty effective one at that. You get brownie points in my book for taking charge of your pleasure and figuring this out.

On the flip side, your body becomes trained to respond to a particular touch, and when you’re only relying on one method to orgasm (running water), you aren’t giving your body much to work with in terms of learning how to reach climax with other types of stimulation.

Masturbation is the best place to start. You need to teach your body how to respond to new stimuli, so experimentation is a must! Plus, when you’re by yourself, there’s less distraction, and you’ll have all the time in the world to figure out what sensations you like. Use your fingers and hands, add a little lube, change up your speed, intensity, and rhythm; explore all parts in and around your vagina.

You can even try out a toy during this learning curve, like the Magic Wand. It’s the cadillac of all vibrators, and will allow you to really experiment with different sensations. Plus, lots of couples enjoy using it during sex as well.

LEARN MORE ABOUT CHANGING UP THE WAY YOU ORGASM IN MY ARTICLE FOR GLAMOUR’S SMITTEN COLUMN, “HELP! I CAN ONLY ORGASM WITH RUNNING WATER

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