Ask Emily: How Do I Share My Foot Fetish?

foot fetish blog sex with emilyDear Emily,

I am single and dating online, and I have a mild foot fetish.

This isn’t something I feel comfortable talking about on a first date. And I’m not sure if or when to bring it up.

Is a first date too soon to bring this up?




Dear Paul,

There’s not a one-size-fits all sex menu, especially when it comes to fetishes. With that said, I don’t necessarily think you need to lead with your foot fetish on a first date.

Dating is tough enough as it is, especially in the context of online dating because you’re also meeting this person for the first time. You both might already be thinking about having sex later that night… The whole thing can be kind of awkward. Sharing about a fetish when you’re not ready to reveal it and they’re not ready to hear it, can be extremely awkward.

If you start talking about sex (and feel comfortable) then you should bring it up. But I wouldn’t be like “Hey do you want to order the salmon or the chicken, and by the way, I like feet.” Make sure you bring it up in the context of a conversation about sexual preferences. 

Don’t Be Embarrassed

I want to stress that you definitely shouldn’t be embarrassed about your fetish. I don’t care if you’re turned on by big breasts, feet, or bearded dragon role-play. You should be proud that you’ve found something that presses your buttons in the right way. And honestly, who doesn’t like to have their feet rubbed? I would love to be with a guy with a foot fetish, and I’m sure a lot of women out there feel the same way.

If you’re looking for ways to bring this up after the first date, but are still feeling it out, here are some things to try. You can give them a compliment about their feet, their shoes, or even offer them a foot massage. Drop subtle hints. Watch their reactions, and take any cues they offer about their interest level in what you’re saying. If you’re vibing, it’s likely they’ll want to learn about your preferences.

There’s nothing wrong with a foot fetish. If this is your thing and you need to have it, find someone who’s just as into it as you. Don’t force or pressure anyone to be into the same things you are. You’ll surely find that groove with someone else.

In the meantime, relax and know that the right person (and their perfect feet) will walk into your life.




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