Ask Emily: How To Spice Up a Long Distance Love
Q: DEAR EMILY,
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. He recently transferred law schools, so now we’re in a long-distance relationship. I’m so proud of him, but in a shocking twist, not as psyched about the distance. I really value physical touch in love-language-speak and, well, long-distance makes that a bit difficult.
At first, sexting and phone sex were new and exciting for the two of us, but it’s become harder to initiate with him back in school and living with roommates (yes, I know, another glorious shift). Do you have any recommendations for keeping things hot?
Any advice would be appreciated, and thanks again for all that you do!
Amy, 27, SC
A: DEAR AMY,
Good job sticking out the long-distance move! Some people can’t even handle living one city away from their beau. It’s also great that you’re in tune with your particular love-language preferences, even if you can’t get your fill of physical touch at the moment (holding your own hand just doesn’t quite cut it).
While pesky roommates and differing schedules can be irritating, they can also be remedied with a little planning and a few tricks up your sleeve.
Pencil in your sexy time.
Long-distance loving can be hard, and not just because of the mileage between you. Oftentimes schedules clash, so make sure you plan your Skype/phone sex dates, stick to them, and then make a big deal about it. Get dressed up, set the table around your laptop and eat a fun meal together, even screen-share a movie. Hey, it might just feel like a real date.
Remember when you used to write love notes to your crush in grade school? It was cute, sweet, and exciting on both ends. Snail mail can still have the same effect in your current relationship if you just turn up the heat a little on the actual content. Include a super-sexy picture (hello, Boudoir photo shoot) or maybe a kinky story that will really get him going.