Ask Emily: How to Talk Dirty Without Sounding Like a Porn Star

Q: DEAR EMILY,

pexels

Hi Emily!

I have an extremely healthy (and safe) sex life with my boyfriend—but here’s my issue. I have no idea how to talk dirty. Normally I’d say how great he feels inside of me, tell him to put his hands here or there, but I get stuck after this. I don’t want to sound like a porn star, but I do want him to be turned on from what I say.

What can I say besides this to turn him on that isn’t too intense?

Marci, 27

A: DEAR AMELIA,

The good news is you already seem to be over that awkward slump of initiating some dirty conversation, and that’s half the battle! While there’s nothing wrong with what you’re saying now, I get that you want to expand your dirty talk repertoire without coming off as some wanna-be porn star.

Here are some tips for finding the perfect balance between sexy and distasteful when it comes to your dirty talk:

Do relax: Your partner already enjoys having sex with you so, take comfort in that realization, and it’ll be easier to let go of your inhibitions. Don’t worry too much about how you sound or what you say at the beginning— the fact that you’re trying is already turning him on.

Don’t force it: To sound more natural, focus on something that’s happening in the moment. Instead of saying “this feels good,” expand on that– the more details the better.

Don’t focus on what you think he wants to hear: Develop your own script, and don’t feel like you have to sound super freaky for it to work.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ASKING FOR KINKIER SEX IN MY ARTICLE FOR GLAMOUR’S SMITTEN COLUMN, “HOW DO I DIRTY TALK WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A PORN STAR?

Related Posts