Ask Emily: How Do I Tell My Partner I’ve Been Faking My O’s?

woman-orgasm1

woman-orgasm1Q: Dear Emily

I’ve been with my boyfriend for around eight months and have still never had a REAL orgasm during sex. And as if this isn’t bad enough, I’ve been faking it! I know—it’s terrible! My partner has no idea, I just get so in my head about it and I want to make him feel good about his performance, but now I’m sick of performing. I want the real deal and I know I need to be honest with him, I just don’t know how to confess without hurting his feelings. How do I approach this?

Thanks, A

A: Dear A

Sounds like you’ve found yourself in a tough spot. On the one hand, you’re right, this isn’t fair to you. But on the other hand, it’s not fair to him either. I understand how faking orgasms can stem from an altruistic desire to make your partner feel good, but in the long run, providing false confidence won’t do him any good, either.

But here’s the good news: Your partner wants to give you mind-blowing orgasms. You want to have mind-blowing orgasms. So really your goals are closely aligned. By making a few key adjustments, you can start 2017 with a bang! (Pun intended).

In fact, if you haven’t already set your New Year’s resolutions, this is your opportunity to commit to NEVER FAKE ORGASMS again. This commitment will help you, your lover, and believe it or not, women everywhere.

Find out how to stop faking your orgasms and start the conversation with you partner with tips from my latest blog in Glamour’s Sex Tips Column “I’ve Been Faking My Orgasms For Months. How Do I Come Clean To My Partner?“…

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3 Discussion to this post

  1. A says:

    Hi Emily,
    I’ve been with my bf since I was 17 years old and now I’m turning 30 in April and we are still going strong, our sex life is still really good but sometimes we are alittle lame in the bedroom just wondering if you have any advice to spiece it up

    Thanks!

  2. Jesus says:

    Normally I dont read post on websites, but I would like to say that this write-up very pressured me too check out annd do so!
    Your writing taste haas been surprised me. Thank you, quitee nice article.

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