Ask Emily: Where Is the Lube Love?
I love you and your show, and I’ve had a great time testing out your tips for spicing things up with my boyfriend. Per your recommendation, we have recently been trying to work lube into our sexual routine, but stopped because I was really not enjoying it. It made a huge mess and got everywhere during foreplay, and I was very aware of it WHILE we were having sex. I also didn’t like the way it felt afterward—especially if we had sex during the day (because I would have to go somewhere after, and I would have lube all around my vagina).
I know you’re a huge fan of lube, and I want to love it. But I feel like there’s something I must be missing, because so far, I’m not getting the appeal. Were we just using too much? Is there another lube you can suggest that might be better? Thank you!
Sheridan, age 22
I get it. I’ve been there. You get all excited to try something new, and the results are less than thrilling, so you start to question whether it’s really for you. Everyone else loves it, shouldn’t you? But before you lose the lube love completely, let’s try to troubleshoot so you can get the most out of what I think is an essential element to great sex.
The first thing we should probably look at is the type of lubricant you were using. There are a lot of options out there with different ingredients and textures, as well as varying qualities and price points. And yes: There are bad lubricants out there. Before you pick a lube out of the bargain bin at a drug store, it’s important to know what you’re taking home and slathering on your lady parts. The wrong lube can come with a host of problems that can really spoil an otherwise hot hookup.