The Best Dating Advice You’ll Ever Get
The best dating advice does not involve using pick-up lines. If use a pickup line, you better use it ironically. You will get rejected instantly if you say, “did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” with a straight face.
Never take yourself too seriously. Being funny will take you a lot farther than being sexy and mysterious, unless you’re James Bond or something.
Here’s how to meet someone, approach them, and not scare them away on the first date.
Meet your Mate
The best way to find a potential mate is doing an activity that you love. I always tell people, do what you love and the rest will follow. You have a much better chance making a relationship last with someone who shares the same interests as you. If you love hiking, go to meet-ups where people trail-blaze together. If you love a local band, attend their shows and mingle with the other fans. If you love to paint, take a community class and ask the attractive person next to you what their favorite brush stroke is.
Remember, there is no right or wrong place to meet someone. It’s not less romantic because you met online, or bad that you met someone at a party. Don’t disregard a potential relationship because the meeting wasn’t straight out of a Nicholas Sparks’ book.
If you’re single, get an online dating profile!
Already have an online dating profile? Great! Delete all the photos of yourself from 1995, clinging a red cup. You want to look as good, if not better, than your picture when you meet your online dating match.
Do not include your novel in your online dating profile. Give me a few punchy sentences that don’t make you look pretentious and/or desperate. Unless you are selling your art, do not call yourself an artist.
Do not put that you love hiking if you hate hiking. You will end up on the top of a mountain with a complete stranger.
Approach an Attractive Stranger
For guys: You have a much better chance of starting an actual conversation if you’re specific and show interest in her as a person, and not just as an object of desire. Even if you don’t immediately comment on her physical appearance, if you use generic conversation starters she’ll assume you’re only talking to her because you want some action.
For Everyone: Ask his or her opinion on something happening in the venue. If a somewhat familiar song starts playing on the radio, ask if they know what artist is playing. Ask them questions and really listen to what s/he has to say. Then respond just as if you’re talking to a friend. If they give you short answers and are avoiding eye contact, respectfully end the conversation and introduce yourself to someone else. If things are going well, try to keep the conversation going as long as possible before asking him/her out. Tell them you’d love to continue talking, would they like to grab coffee sometime? It’s that simple.
The same goes for online dating. Instead of expressing how much you want to see them naked, ask them about one of their favorite books.
Remember, the worst thing that can happen when you approach someone is getting rejected. Pick up the pieces of your broken heart, and try again. Smile and see what happens. You’ll never know if you don’t put yourself out there.
Don’t be glued to your cell phone. I realize that pretending to check your cell phone is a great way to avoid awkward silences, but resist the urge. Stay engaged. Make eye contact with your date instead of with your phone.
Go somewhere casual and fun. A fancy restaurant with violins playing in the background puts a lot of pressure on the date. Instead of picking the most trendy place in town, pick someplace laid-back where you can have a good conversation.
Don’t say negative things about yourself or other people. It makes you look insecure and pessimistic. It’s okay if you make a couple harmless self-deprecating jokes, but don’t go overboard. Instead, showcase the positive things happening in your life.
Talk about things that you are passionate about. People are more attractive when they talk about things that they are interested in and love. Remember, you don’t have to brag about your accomplishments to show them what you’re about.