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Ask Emily

Sex with your Ex

 

Dear Emily,

I moved out here a year ago with a friend. He got out of the military and wanted me to come back home with him and see where it went. Initially I proposed we have an open relationship. We never really dated anyone else and the past year has been beautiful, spontaneous, and full of sex. I’ve fallen head over heels for this man and he’s unofficially asked me to marry him. Continue Reading

Dear Emily,

I’ve been seeing someone for a couple months. The sex is hot and heavy, romantic and driven.  But he has shared a fantasy of having me go to the bathroom on him. Logistics aside, is this normal and/or safe?  My mind went straight to “no,” but my mouth did not deliver that to him because I don’t want him to feel bad about opening up to me.  Should I leave him if I can’t fulfill this fantasy of his? Continue Reading

Mismatched Libidos

Dear Emily,

I’m a 24-year-old guy, dating a 45-year-old man. When we fell in love, the age gap didn’t matter but when we got into bed it started to. I have an unusually high sex drive, wanting sex multiple times a day. My partner does not. He prefers sex a few times a week, and only in the early morning…. Continue Reading

Dear Emily,

I’ve been interested in this girl I met at work. We text each other everyday for the past couple of months. I eventually told her how I felt about her and she felt the same way about me except she wanted to take things slow because her last relationship ended very badly. As weeks went by she has been very distant. Every time we talked it was about all the problems she’s going through. We’ve never been on a date… Continue Reading

Dear Emily,

Background: 34-year-old guy, virgin, never had a relationship.  This is due to my practically lifelong struggle with major clinical depression. The issues are largely resolved and I feel great!   I’m now out there trying to meet the right girl.Positive qualities: I’m handsome, make $80k a year good personality, responsible, and am fit. Negative qualities: I can’t think of any. Continue Reading

Jackrabbit Sex

Dear Emily,
Thank you for the new term “Jackrabbit Sex” which has quickly become a regular part of my vocabulary, and paranoia. Jack rabbit sex! Holy crap! I am suddenly wondering whether I am occasionally guilty of this. Can you delve a little deeper into this? Why is it so bad?

Thanks so much,
J from Ohio

Long-term Relationships

Dear Emily,

I just got out of a long-term relationship. I still talk to my ex all the time and we’re really good friends right now, even though we live in different cities. He and I never had the most exciting sex life while we were together, but now that I’m single, I’m ready to have my sex life back! So I was just wondering what your advice would be for someone who is newly single and physically ready, but maybe not entirely emotionally ready?

Thanks!
Liz, North Carolina

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Online Dating

Dear Emily,

I just recently signed up with OkCupid to give this online dating thing a try. I’m a newbie so I’m not up on all the rules and hidden rules. My question is would it be cool to tell a girl she’s cute in the first message? Are there any tips on what girls want to see in that first message?

Thanks,
Stan
Costa Mesa, CA

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Stagnant Sex Life

Dear Emily,
My wife and I have been married for 15 years, together for 18 and our sex life is stagnant at best. We’re both in our upper 30’s and my libido is just as strong as when I was in high school while hers is nearly non-existent. I thought I would try to spice things up a bit and try to introduce some toys. I would love any suggestions you could give, I know you’ve recommended vibrating rings in the past but what kind would you recommend and how exactly are they most effective. She had a vibrator in the past and it was too strong for her, she has a very sensitive clit so anything too strong won’t work well, so could you suggest a vibrator you think would work for us? Lastly, do you have any suggestions for other toys? She loves it when I hit her g-spot so anything along those lines would be great.
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