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Stagnant Sex Life

Dear Emily,
My wife and I have been married for 15 years, together for 18 and our sex life is stagnant at best. We’re both in our upper 30’s and my libido is just as strong as when I was in high school while hers is nearly non-existent. I thought I would try to spice things up a bit and try to introduce some toys. I would love any suggestions you could give, I know you’ve recommended vibrating rings in the past but what kind would you recommend and how exactly are they most effective. She had a vibrator in the past and it was too strong for her, she has a very sensitive clit so anything too strong won’t work well, so could you suggest a vibrator you think would work for us? Lastly, do you have any suggestions for other toys? She loves it when I hit her g-spot so anything along those lines would be great.


Dear Emily,

I can only orgasm if my mind is completely engaged in some kind of elaborate fantasy situation. I have to imagine an over-the-top kind of sexy situation, even if I am totally into the guy I am with. I feel bad because I’m not entirely present in the moment and if he knew my mind was elsewhere he would probably feel bad too! Is this a common problem? Do you have any ideas of how to orgasm without mental stimulation?
Thank you!
Catherine,  Ohio


Dear Emily,
I have a question. I have communicated to my partners that I don’t want a complete commitment and want to keep things light. They don’t listen. I try to spell it out. I try to be subtle. Nothing seems to work. I don’t have a fear of monogamy but was in a long marriage where sexual compatibility was terrible. She made me feel awful for wanting it. I just wanted to point that out before my question rattled the monogamy bell.
Great show. Keep it up!
Los Angeles, CA

Erection Issues

Dear Emily,
I am 40 yrs. old and have been with my wife for 20 yrs. I have been on blood pressure medication for about 10 years and have never had any erection issues until recently. I can get an erection fine but keeping one for a session of sex can be difficult. Do penis rings really work? Please help!
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