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Dear Emily,painful sex blog sex with emily

I’m a late bloomer when it comes to masturbation and having orgasms. (I didn’t even know that women could masturbate until I was in my twenties!)

Now I’m figuring out what turns me on, what movements I like, and what doesn’t work. I even have a wonderful partner who is totally on board to help me figure it out.

Sometimes when I masturbate, or when my partner fingers me to climax, this weird thing happens: My body spasms, and it’s kind of painful (usually in just the pelvic area).

I can’t hold my vibrator to my clit any longer or I push my partner’s hand away, even though I feel that I could have gone deeper into the orgasm. It totally keeps me from just melting into the experience.

I’m wondering if I’m pushing myself to climax before I’m fully warmed up? Is that a thing? Or is this a serious issue that I might have to get looked at?

Sincerely,

Leslie, 27

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running water blog sex with emilyDEAR EMILY,

When I was 17 years old, I had never orgasmed, despite having had one or two sexual partners. I read that placing your clit right underneath running water is a way to reach orgasm! So, I tried it. And to this day, it is the only way I can climax.

I have a serious boyfriend now, but I don’t orgasm with him. What do I do? Am I doomed to only come in the presence of running water?

May, age 19

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Dear Emily,habit blog sex with emily

I’m very open-minded sexually, but I have a hard time accepting my boyfriend’s porn habit.

We have a great sex life and try new things, but he still watches porn. I can’t help wondering…aren’t I enough? Is he comparing me to these women? Is that how he wants me to act? It isn’t fair for me to ask him to stop, so how can I get used to it? Please help!

Janine, 27, Iowa

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slippage blog sex with emily

Dear Emily,

After being with a few guys, I’ve noticed that it doesn’t matter the size of a guy’s penis or where we’re having sex—whether it be the couch, floor, or bed—but if I’m on top of him, his penis is always slipping out! It’s usually when it’s getting good, and I probably get carried away. But my question is: Am I doing something wrong? And how do I stop it from slipping out?

-Mandy, 27

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penis is too big blog sex with emilyDEAR EMILY,

I recently started seeing a guy, and although his penis is magnificent and huge, it’s an even huger problem. I’m a petite woman, and so far, sex with him has been very painful. I’ve managed to get through it multiple times, but I’m always incredibly sore afterward.

Is there anything I can do to lessen the pain, or is the fact his penis is too big something I’ll have to get used to?

Thanks!

Penelope

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nipple play blog sex with emilyDear Emily,

My sex life with my husband almost exclusively revolves around nipple play. We both love giving and receiving nipple stimulation, and it’s our primary foreplay.

To keep things new and fun, I’ve researched nipple toys but can’t seem to find any with consistently positive reviews. What toys or techniques can enhance our routine?

-Mallory

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scared of sex blog sex with emily

Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash

Dear Emily,

So my issue is I am afraid of sex!
 
I was raised to believe that sex before marriage is a TERRIBLE sin, and I’m stuck with associating sex, in general, with feelings of shame and guilt. 
 
I don’t even want to think about marriage until I’m at least 25, which seems way too old to still be a virgin! I’m worried that when I actually get serious with a guy I won’t be able to get over these feelings of shame and fear. Please help!
 
Sincerely, 
Lucy

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