Q: Dear Emily
I’ve been with my boyfriend for around eight months and have still never had a REAL orgasm during sex. And as if this isn’t bad enough, I’ve been faking it! I know—it’s terrible! My partner has no idea, I just get so in my head about it and I want to make him feel good about his performance, but now I’m sick of performing. I want the real deal and I know I need to be honest with him, I just don’t know how to confess without hurting his feelings. How do I approach this?
Thanks, A Continue Reading
Q: Dear Emily
I met a man while traveling, we have been talking for a while since, and now he’s coming to visit. We haven’t been intimate yet, but I have a feeling that it will happen while he’s here. Which leads me to my question…
When I have sex, I produce a lot of female ejaculate, and if previous measures are not taken, the bed really isn’t suitable to sleep in after. I want to give this guy a heads-up, but I don’t really know how to approach this. Also I don’t want him to be disappointed if, for some reason, I do not “squirt” the first time with him (which has happened before).
Should I tell him beforehand? If so, how? Or should I just let it be a surprise?
With love, Sage
Q: Dear Emily
In the past year, I have been on a mission to have regular orgasms and since I’m currently single, this has been mostly a solo mission. I’ve been taking all of your advice: I’ve got the sex toys and the lube, I know where all my hot spots are and I know how to touch them, but I’m still only orgasming a third of the time. It’s so frustrating! Sometimes I will be right on the cusp of climaxing, but for some reason I just can’t get all the way there. What am I missing here? Help!
I have an issue I have yet to hear on your show. My wife of 19 years comes too quickly! (Yes, she actually orgasms and isn’t faking). It takes very little for her to reach climax and once she does, she is done. Me, on the other hand… I take a very long time. Obviously, this proves to be a problem as she comes first and is immediately done.
Because she comes so quickly, she is always in a rush to get me to finish. Once she is done she starts questioning me if I am done. Major turn off. She isn’t into too much foreplay and she doesn’t like giving oral sex (especially not to completion) so everything I have been taught falls apart completely. Is there anything you can suggest to make her last longer and be more into it? Thanks
Daniel, 52, Colorado
I’ve got a question about sex toy hygiene—I know you have a lot of sex toys and you use them pretty frequently. I am looking to step up my sex toy collection, but I’m worried about them remaining clean and sanitary for use. I’m 27 and haven’t had sex in a couple of years, but I want to start experimenting with myself. The only thing that’s holding me back is my fear of getting a yeast infection from dirty toys. What’s the best way to store and clean them? Also, is there a type of sex toy material that is bacteria resistant? Please help!
Xo, CJ Continue Reading
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while, and in most areas we’re very sexually compatible. But lately there’s been a problem in the blow job department: he takes FOOOOOOOREVER to finish. Don’t get me wrong, I love going down on a guy. I know from experience that I’m good at it, but with him my poor jaw gets tired and cramps up. Giving head is becoming a chore! What can I do to…speed up the process? Help!
Thank you! Lockjawed in Los Angeles
My partner is away for nine months for his career. We talk on the phone and Skype regularly, but the lack of physical connection has been really difficult so far. It has only been a month, and I’m already bored with masturbating. I don’t know how I’m going to make it! Do you have any suggestions for maintaining intimacy while in a temporary long-distance relationship?
I am single and dating—mostly online. And a lot of women will ask me, usually on a first date, what I’m into sexually, especially whether or not I’m a boob or butt guy. I have a mild foot fetish and in most of my previous relationships, I never really had to tell my partner. I would just slowly introduce it in the bedroom and they would always be on board with it, because by that time we already liked each other.
This isn’t something I feel comfortable talking about on a first date, and fortunately every girl so far thinks it’s pretty normal. I wanted to ask you if you were on a date with me and asked me that question, and I gave a ‘vanilla’ answer, but then later on in the bedroom I introduced it or mentioned it, if you would feel that you were lied to….
I’m not with a partner at the moment but I masturbate regularly. I know how to make myself have an orgasm and after I do, I feel satisfied, but I want to go again. Trouble is, I have to take a break for about ten minutes because otherwise it will take me a very long time to orgasm again and I usually give up before then. I’ve always wanted to be able to have multiple orgasms (within a minute or two of each other) but I’ve never been able to. My question is, is there any way to train yourself to have multiple orgasms?”