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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Photo: Stocksy

My sex life with my husband almost exclusively revolves around nipple play. He and I both love giving and receiving nipple stimulation, and it’s our primary foreplay (usually a nipple-69).

In an effort to keep things new and fun, I’ve researched nipple toys but can’t seem to find any with consistently positive reviews. We’ve talked about clamps, suction toys, and even pumps, but we aren’t sure what is reliable, pain-free (we like teasing and pleasure, not pain), and useful for both women and men.

Do you have any advice for what toys or techniques could enhance our somewhat unconventional—but very satisfying!—routine?

Mallory, Age 40

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Image via: Stocksy

This has always been a huge insecurity of mine: moaning and noises during sex. The only sound I make is if my breathing picks up naturally.

I never moan during sex and try my hardest to let out a noise when I orgasm, but it just feels so forced and fake to me. I’m so focused the whole time that if I think about it, I just end up feeling insecure. My long-term boyfriend has always told me he doesn’t care that I don’t, but do guys really mind pretty much silent sex?

What are your thoughts?

 Thanks, 
Hailey, 24, NY

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

While I have been masturbating since the beginning of high school, I’ve never had sex. The thing is, I rarely fully get off. I think the only time I have was while using a shower head. I use the Touch by We-Vibe, but once I can feel an orgasm coming on, it becomes harder and harder to get there because my clit becomes too sensitive.

Do you have any tips to help overcome this?

Thanks,

Rachel, 24, NC

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Hi Emily,

I have recently started seeing a new man. And I have a terrible gag reflex. Like it’s honestly terrible. I gag every single time he goes too deep, and I don’t really love the taste of semen. Between the depth and worrying about the taste, I get so tense. All I want to do is finish the job without looking like an idiot. Is it all in my head, or is there a way to fix this issue?

Emma, 22, Indiana

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and I want to try some new things to keep it fun and new. However, he and I are both on a serious budget, so I want to know –– what are the best “bang for your buck” toys?

I would like to try more than one and want something that will be safe and enjoyable for both of us.  

Steph, 27, PA

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Babies are cute, little bundles of joy that become the apple of our eye. But after 9 months of caring a growing human inside of you, pushing it out during labor, and staying up long, exhausting hours, sex usually gets thrown on the back burner. Even when your doctor gives you the sex green light, none of these things are a great recipe for a high sex drive.

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Q: Dear Emily:

I’m a gay woman who can’t really get off from vaginal penetration, but I like anal penetration. Some partners might have been surprised, but most have being willing to penetrate me anally.

Now I’m dating a new woman who’s nine years older than me, and she’s having a hard time wrapping her mind around my request. She says she doesn’t want to do it because she doesn’t want to hurt me, but I keep telling her I’ve already done it and can walk her through it.

I’d hate for this to be the end of our relationship. Can I do anything to reassure her that I’ll be OK and even enjoy it?

Thanks!
Jan, 24

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Q: Dear Emily,

I’m a late bloomer when it comes to masturbation and having orgasms. (I didn’t even know that women could masturbate until I was in my twenties!)

Now I’m figuring out what turns me on, what movements I like, and what doesn’t work. I even have a wonderful partner who is totally on board to help me figure it out.

Sometimes when I masturbate, or when my partner fingers me to climax, this weird thing happens: My body spasms, and it kind of…hurts (usually in just the pelvic area).

I can’t hold my vibrator to my clit any longer or I push my partner’s hand away, even though I feel that I could have gone deeper into the orgasm. It totally keeps me from just melting into the experience.

I’m wondering if I’m pushing myself to climax before I’m fully warmed up? Is that a thing? Or is this a serious issue that I might have to get looked at?

Sincerely,

Leslie, 27

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Q: Dear Emily,

I have been having sex with my girlfriend for eight months now, and was a virgin before her. Although she’s a lot more experienced than me sexually, she has never been in a same-sex relationship before, and we are figuring everything out together. The sex that we have is amazing, but up until now we’ve gone solo equipment-wise. We’re now looking to bring some toys into the bedroom, and I’m looking for ideas.

You talk about different toys that you enjoy on your show, but it’s mostly in reference to masturbation. Do you have any recommendations for a lesbian couple? We both really enjoy external stimulation, but are open to anything! Love the show and thanks for the help!

Elizabeth, 23

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