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Q: DEAR EMILY,

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I’m just gonna dive right in. When I was 17 years old, I had never orgasmed, despite having had one or two sexual partners. So I did some research. I read that placing your clit right underneath running water is a way to reach orgasm! So, I tried it. And to this day, it is the only way I can climax.

I have a serious boyfriend now, who I have amazing sex with, but I don’t orgasm with him. What do I do? Am I doomed to only come in the presence of running water?

May, age 19

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

I am a 23-year-old lesbian, and my dating pool seems more like a puddle. I’m shy, so walking up to a woman in a bar isn’t really my thing. Conversely, I’m very feminine and have been told that women can’t easily tell that I’m gay, making me unapproachable for women who are too scared to ask.

Last but not least, I’ve noticed that I’m attracted to older women and find myself being intimidated by them because I’m not very sexually experienced.

Basically, I need suggestions on where to meet women and how to be more confident and put myself out there.

Please help!

Cassie, 23, Kentucky

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Photo: Stocksy

My sex life with my husband almost exclusively revolves around nipple play. He and I both love giving and receiving nipple stimulation, and it’s our primary foreplay (usually a nipple-69).

In an effort to keep things new and fun, I’ve researched nipple toys but can’t seem to find any with consistently positive reviews. We’ve talked about clamps, suction toys, and even pumps, but we aren’t sure what is reliable, pain-free (we like teasing and pleasure, not pain), and useful for both women and men.

Do you have any advice for what toys or techniques could enhance our somewhat unconventional—but very satisfying!—routine?

Mallory, Age 40

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Image via: Stocksy

This has always been a huge insecurity of mine: moaning and noises during sex. The only sound I make is if my breathing picks up naturally.

I never moan during sex and try my hardest to let out a noise when I orgasm, but it just feels so forced and fake to me. I’m so focused the whole time that if I think about it, I just end up feeling insecure. My long-term boyfriend has always told me he doesn’t care that I don’t, but do guys really mind pretty much silent sex?

What are your thoughts?

 Thanks, 
Hailey, 24, NY

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

While I have been masturbating since the beginning of high school, I’ve never had sex. The thing is, I rarely fully get off. I think the only time I have was while using a shower head. I use the Touch by We-Vibe, but once I can feel an orgasm coming on, it becomes harder and harder to get there because my clit becomes too sensitive.

Do you have any tips to help overcome this?

Thanks,

Rachel, 24, NC

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

Hi Emily,

I have recently started seeing a new man. And I have a terrible gag reflex. Like it’s honestly terrible. I gag every single time he goes too deep, and I don’t really love the taste of semen. Between the depth and worrying about the taste, I get so tense. All I want to do is finish the job without looking like an idiot. Is it all in my head, or is there a way to fix this issue?

Emma, 22, Indiana

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and I want to try some new things to keep it fun and new. However, he and I are both on a serious budget, so I want to know –– what are the best “bang for your buck” toys?

I would like to try more than one and want something that will be safe and enjoyable for both of us.  

Steph, 27, PA

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Babies are cute, little bundles of joy that become the apple of our eye. But after 9 months of caring a growing human inside of you, pushing it out during labor, and staying up long, exhausting hours, sex usually gets thrown on the back burner. Even when your doctor gives you the sex green light, none of these things are a great recipe for a high sex drive.

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Q: Dear Emily:

I’m a gay woman who can’t really get off from vaginal penetration, but I like anal penetration. Some partners might have been surprised, but most have being willing to penetrate me anally.

Now I’m dating a new woman who’s nine years older than me, and she’s having a hard time wrapping her mind around my request. She says she doesn’t want to do it because she doesn’t want to hurt me, but I keep telling her I’ve already done it and can walk her through it.

I’d hate for this to be the end of our relationship. Can I do anything to reassure her that I’ll be OK and even enjoy it?

Thanks!
Jan, 24

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