Dear Emily,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while, and in most areas we’re very sexually compatible. But lately there’s been a problem in the blow job department: he takes FOOOOOOOREVER to finish. Don’t get me wrong, I love going down on a guy. I know from experience that I’m good at it, but with him my poor jaw gets tired and cramps up. Giving head is becoming a chore! What can I do to…speed up the process? Help!
Thank you! Lockjawed in Los Angeles
Dear Emily,
My partner is away for nine months for his career. We talk on the phone and Skype regularly, but the lack of physical connection has been really difficult so far. It has only been a month, and I’m already bored with masturbating. I don’t know how I’m going to make it! Do you have any suggestions for maintaining intimacy while in a temporary long-distance relationship?
Thanks,
Alex
Hi Emily,
I am single and dating—mostly online. And a lot of women will ask me, usually on a first date, what I’m into sexually, especially whether or not I’m a boob or butt guy. I have a mild foot fetish and in most of my previous relationships, I never really had to tell my partner. I would just slowly introduce it in the bedroom and they would always be on board with it, because by that time we already liked each other.
This isn’t something I feel comfortable talking about on a first date, and fortunately every girl so far thinks it’s pretty normal. I wanted to ask you if you were on a date with me and asked me that question, and I gave a ‘vanilla’ answer, but then later on in the bedroom I introduced it or mentioned it, if you would feel that you were lied to….
Thanks,
Paul
“Dear Emily,
I’m not with a partner at the moment but I masturbate regularly. I know how to make myself have an orgasm and after I do, I feel satisfied, but I want to go again. Trouble is, I have to take a break for about ten minutes because otherwise it will take me a very long time to orgasm again and I usually give up before then. I’ve always wanted to be able to have multiple orgasms (within a minute or two of each other) but I’ve never been able to. My question is, is there any way to train yourself to have multiple orgasms?”
Love,
Anna
Hey Emily!
I’ve been with my boyfriend for three-and-a-half years and the sex is great! We both get wonderful pleasure from each other and are open to trying new moves. My issue (one that has been evident from the start of the relationship) is that I am always in the driver’s seat when it comes to our sexual experiences. I always make the first move. I have tried to talk to him about it but he’s not willing to do anything differently. It feels like he doesn’t even want to have sex with me unless I make him.
Like you said in one of your podcasts, a common female fantasy is that of being dominated—well, I want that! I got him to do this once and I loved it, but it hasn’t happened since. I am exhausted from having to take the lead all the time. I just want him to want me more. How do I get him to initiate sex with me more often?
Please help me Emily!
Thanks,
Alexandra Continue Reading
Dear Emily,
I became interested in sex and masturbation at a very young age and I’ve always felt that I have very heightened sexual energy. The problem is, I’ve had a hard time finding guys who share the same intensity about it as I do. I always end up being the one who needs it more often, and past boyfriends have even labeled me as “sex obsessed.”
I have been dating a guy for several months and the sex has been great so far. At the beginning of the relationship, we would jump each other every chance we got, but lately the sex has become less and less frequent. I’m scared to tell him that I want it more because I really enjoy spending time with him and I’m afraid he will judge me. I don’t want to seem like a “nympho”—another thing I have been called in the past.
Am I really too obsessed with having sex? How do I approach the situation without scaring my boyfriend away?
Sincerely, Carrie
Hi Emily,
I learn so much from your podcasts! I am 36 and recently separated from a 16-year relationship. After waiting eight months, I decided I was ready to start dating again. A few colleagues of mine recommended some dating apps, so I checked them out. I went on two OKCupid dates and they went horribly. Then I gave it one last shot and started talking to a guy six years older than me. We have been talking for two weeks but haven’t met in person yet. So far, our connection has been great!
So here’s my question for you: Is there a certain timeline to meet this guy and move forward from there? What do you suggest when it comes to going from cyber- and phone-chatting to meeting IRL?
Thank you,
Laura in LA Continue Reading
Hi Emily
I consider myself to be a very open person sexually. I love trying out new things in the bedroom and playing around with different positions. My absolute favorite is doggy-style. The problem is, I always seem to experience a lot of pain when I do it. Is this normal? I should probably add that my last few partners have been pretty blessed in the size department. Is size a factor here, as well? And more importantly, how can I make it less painful so I can experience the pleasure? Thanks, love your podcast!
Jessica Continue Reading
Dear Emily,
Recently I have been dealing with an issue that I can’t seem to wrap my head around: I’m in love with a man who is absolutely awful at performing oral sex. He doesn’t go down on me very often, but when he does it’s sloppy and rough and all over the place – I mean, really terrible! I just don’t get it… He is a great kisser and is so good with his hands, but when it comes to oral sex, he seems to be completely clueless.
I don’t want to mess up what we have because everything else in the sex department is great, but I NEED more oral sex. How can I help him get better at going down? How can I get him to go down me, period?
Sincerely,
Orally Fixated
