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Sex with Disabilities

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When we think of the erogenous zones on our bodies, it is almost instantaneously that our minds drift south; to the southern borders of our genitalia.

We’ve been conditioned over time to believe that these places – and nowhere else – will provide us pleasurable, sexual experiences. It is only our penises, vaginas, or a beautiful combination that make us cum and squirt. So why would we look anywhere else?

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Think back to those middle school/high school days. Remember that algebra class or those standardized-tests the state forced you to take every year? Do you get a little queasy thinking about the exams you studied for? The sweaty palms, the foot-tapping, the chewing on the eraser end of your pencil…?

Even as grown-ups, there’s no shortage of stress-inducing situations we find ourselves in; only difference is, we’ve learned a few tricks to handle that “fight-or-flight” feeling a lot better than we did in math class. I’m willing to bet that for many of us reading this, social confidence has been one of our new “rites of passage,” and the reason for many of those anxious-filled stories. Able-bodied or not, stress and anxiety can throw you off your game at school, at work, and definitely when it comes to dating and relationships.

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Things are really looking up for people with disabilities. It’s 2017, and our dating game is stronger than ever. We are out and on the prowl, looking for our next big love or our next late night romp. Though we hope that every new person we meet has the kindness to respect our disability, sometimes we just end up being the first disabled person to ever cross their path and things get really uncomfortable really quickly.

If that ends up being you, and you wind up meeting an incredible, sexy, disabled human, I’ve got a few easy tricks up my sleeve to welcome them into your life (and maybe even your bedroom) without offending anyone.

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Dating is tough, like REALLY tough. So tough in fact, countless books and self-help gurus want to give you the secret formula to finding a great mate. There’s definitely smarter ways to go about it, but the best thing we can do is put forth an earnest effort to show our honest selves, and hope that resonates with someone. For many of us living with a disability, the challenges of finding a mate don’t stop after we’ve found someone who laughs at our jokes. The process of wooing and courtship is a dance on a tightrope, and it feels a lot different when you’re already dealing with some major life challenges.

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You’ve done it! After a few nights out with your new love interest, you’ve successful made it all the way to the bedroom. Things are getting hot and heavy as you continue to passionately make out with your partner. It’s completely dark. You dance your way onto the bed, getting a little lost in the moment. You’re right on the edge of the bed, so close to engaging in activities you’ve been dreaming up all evening. Here’s the challenge: getting your partner undressed. Why? You see by touching with your hands– you’re blind.

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