I have always struggled with guilt. Maybe it’s because I break too many rules. Maybe it’s because I was raised Catholic. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid self gratification marks me a narcissist. I don’t know exactly how I arrived to such a steady relationship with the feelings of guilt, shame and regret, but they are as constant in my life as blinking and breathing. And when it comes to sex, the guilt has always weighed a little more. Not only did I put it on myself, I felt that my friends, my partners, and society at large shamed me for my sexual appetite, orientation, and experience. I always wanted too much from too many people, and for some odd reason, was undeserving of the pleasure I unconditionally derived from sex. Sexual guilt is a buzzkill, and I’ve made it my mission to overcome this behemoth in the name of sexual confidence and self-love.
What makes you feel sexually confident?”
All month long, Emily has posed this question. And all month long, I have avoided attempting to answer it myself. The truth is, confidence is something I have always struggled with. Maybe not in all departments; I know what I bring to the table when it comes to my sense of humor. I am confident in my ability to carry on an intelligent conversation, even in front of a group of people. And I know for a fact that I can whip up a grilled cheese sandwich that would make you melt. The second I hit the bedroom, however, all that aplomb disappears. The self-assuredness I exude in my daily life dissipates somewhere in between dinner conversation and dirty talk, like spinach withering in a saute pan… Like it was never there at all.
That’s the thing about confidence, I guess. Practice makes perfect. While my 20 years of schooling gave me plenty of practice with social and academic confidence, when it comes to things between the sheets, well… guess I must have slept through that particular course. And I’m not the only one. Continue Reading
Although we only have one body to nurture throughout our life, it constantly changes as we age. Mine was skinny as a baby, short and chubby as a teenager and is now slightly taller as an adult. I learned to accept these changes because most of them were temporary at the time. Everything seemed fine until I started having sex with men. The body I grew to love became a list of flaws for another man to correct. Continue Reading
I began having sex at a relatively young age. I was 15 when my boyfriend and I decided we were going to lose our virginities to each other. Well, more like his friends asked when we were finally going to get it over with. Although it may not have come up for a few months if it was never brought to our attention, I was sure (at the time) that this was who I wanted to go through this life event with. Needless to say, that relationship lasted for maybe one more month before it was over.
From that point on, whenever I’d have sex with someone, it would be on their terms and not my own. All I wanted to do was please, because if he was having a good time, so was I… Or at least, I THOUGHT I was. I wasn’t even aware that my own sexual experience was being put on the back burner. I was young, I had no idea what an orgasm felt like, and the guys I was seeing only had their climax in mind. Continue Reading
The wait is almost over! September is here, which means the Sexual Health Expo is right around the corner. Attending this event is just like going back to school because there is so much to learn and explore at SHE. There are so many amazing exhibits and speakers to check out that you probably won’t know where to go first. Will you want to see what’s new with some of your favorite products? Catch one of the many inspirational sexpert speakers? Attend an interactive workshop on one of today’s hottest sex topics? The mind truly boggles at everything the expo has to offer. Continue Reading
Having a threesome is one of the top fantasies for men and women. And it never fails to be one of the most popular topics on the Sex With Emily site. Whenever we do a podcast, blog, or even a whisper about threesomes, everyone perks up a little bit… It’s an exciting topic, and one that we all want to learn a little more about…
Well, here’s a treat for you: a peek into the part of the threesome triad that is often shrouded in mystery: The Unicorn. Continue Reading
It’s easy to forget about the double standards that surround sex when you’re an avid follower of Sex With Emily, especially when you work here. Yet, once I leave the office, it soon becomes abundantly clear that certain archaic ways of thinking about sex still exist.
Whether it’s from conversations I have with friends, cat-callers on the street, or scenes that pop up on TV, I am repeatedly reminded that, as a woman, there are always going to be people making assumptions about my sex life. They will pigeonhole and stereotype and doubt my ability to enjoy sex in a healthy way. They will form opinions, usually uninformed ones, based on what they THINK they know to be true. Because who’s more of an expert on my sex life than strangers?
NEWSFLASH: Women like sex just as much as men. Continue Reading
I hate to do this to you guys, but it’s that time of the month. Today we say goodbye to Anal Sex Month and welcome a new era. We hope you don’t hide your butt plugs and anal beads just yet because these popular toys will be on every nightstand very soon.
Although this month might have been a walk in the park for some, others may have used this time to explore new possibilities with their bodies. We shared our best advice about anal sex this month, and here are some moments we want you to remember! Continue Reading
All it took was one lonely night on Tinder to get me distracted. I ran out of swipes after returning from a dating hiatus, and my swipes wouldn’t refill for another twelve hours. My girlfriends were out of town, and I was desperate for some company after watching all ten seasons of Friends on Netflix. That’s when temptation kicked in. I tucked my dignity into bed and downloaded the hottest gay hookup app, Grindr.
It’s no secret that pornography is increasingly more accessible to teens in today’s technological age. Before, the only way you were seeing any porn action is if you stumbled across a parent or older sibling’s stash of dirty magazines or snuck into a smut film. Now, the super raunchy, hardcore stuff is really only a few clicks away, and kids today know how to clear their browser histories by the time they’ve reached the eighth grade. The truth is… There is nothing wrong with watching porn. The problem, however, stems from the reality that a lot of teens are using porn, not only to get hot and bothered, but to actually learn about sex.