It’s one thing to talk about taking the “freak” out of freaky sex. We can understand the importance of embracing all forms of sexual exploration and expression. We can take a look at our own fantasies and even work on feeling comfortable expressing them. But just like many of the lessons we learn in life, from Reaganomics to Trigonometry, some theories just aren’t as easy to put into practice.
We all want to believe that we will be cool when someone we’re being intimate with makes a unprecedentedly kinky request. We want to think that we’ll react gracefully, that we will go into it with an open mind and come away with a better understanding of human sexuality as a whole. That’s exactly what happened for one mystery woman—let’s call her Jane—when her golden rule “Try everything once” led her into her first ever golden shower experience…
When we hear the word ‘kinky,’ we tend to let our minds fall deep into the gutter of the possibilities this word can bring to the bedroom. Getting intimate with someone considered to be on the kinkier side means you most likely won’t be having your run of the mill sexual experience.
Whether you’re aware of where you land on the scale or not, we all have our own level of kink. Maybe you’re into handcuffs, having sex in remote locations, or you like taking a literalness to playing with fire; the list goes on forever. And, why these particular additions or ideas make us unable to control our urges may be indescribable, a mystery even to yourself. But hey, whatever works, right? Continue Reading
It’s hard to believe that, in this day and age, there are any sex acts that could still be considered taboo. After all, last year was deemed the Year of Pegging in popular media. Virtual Reality porn went from being a thing of the future to, well, a reality! Things that were once considered to be sexually deviant or fringe are now becoming blockbuster hits. And according to a recent study, 1 in 5 Americans has been in an open relationship. Still, despite how open and accepting society may seem towards any and all forms of sexual expression, we still have quite a ways to go. Continue Reading
I have always struggled with guilt. Maybe it’s because I break too many rules. Maybe it’s because I was raised Catholic. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid self gratification marks me a narcissist. I don’t know exactly how I arrived to such a steady relationship with the feelings of guilt, shame and regret, but they are as constant in my life as blinking and breathing. And when it comes to sex, the guilt has always weighed a little more. Not only did I put it on myself, I felt that my friends, my partners, and society at large shamed me for my sexual appetite, orientation, and experience. I always wanted too much from too many people, and for some odd reason, was undeserving of the pleasure I unconditionally derived from sex. Sexual guilt is a buzzkill, and I’ve made it my mission to overcome this behemoth in the name of sexual confidence and self-love.
What makes you feel sexually confident?”
All month long, Emily has posed this question. And all month long, I have avoided attempting to answer it myself. The truth is, confidence is something I have always struggled with. Maybe not in all departments; I know what I bring to the table when it comes to my sense of humor. I am confident in my ability to carry on an intelligent conversation, even in front of a group of people. And I know for a fact that I can whip up a grilled cheese sandwich that would make you melt. The second I hit the bedroom, however, all that aplomb disappears. The self-assuredness I exude in my daily life dissipates somewhere in between dinner conversation and dirty talk, like spinach withering in a saute pan… Like it was never there at all.
That’s the thing about confidence, I guess. Practice makes perfect. While my 20 years of schooling gave me plenty of practice with social and academic confidence, when it comes to things between the sheets, well… guess I must have slept through that particular course. And I’m not the only one. Continue Reading
Although we only have one body to nurture throughout our life, it constantly changes as we age. Mine was skinny as a baby, short and chubby as a teenager and is now slightly taller as an adult. I learned to accept these changes because most of them were temporary at the time. Everything seemed fine until I started having sex with men. The body I grew to love became a list of flaws for another man to correct. Continue Reading
I began having sex at a relatively young age. I was 15 when my boyfriend and I decided we were going to lose our virginities to each other. Well, more like his friends asked when we were finally going to get it over with. Although it may not have come up for a few months if it was never brought to our attention, I was sure (at the time) that this was who I wanted to go through this life event with. Needless to say, that relationship lasted for maybe one more month before it was over.
From that point on, whenever I’d have sex with someone, it would be on their terms and not my own. All I wanted to do was please, because if he was having a good time, so was I… Or at least, I THOUGHT I was. I wasn’t even aware that my own sexual experience was being put on the back burner. I was young, I had no idea what an orgasm felt like, and the guys I was seeing only had their climax in mind. Continue Reading
The wait is almost over! September is here, which means the Sexual Health Expo is right around the corner. Attending this event is just like going back to school because there is so much to learn and explore at SHE. There are so many amazing exhibits and speakers to check out that you probably won’t know where to go first. Will you want to see what’s new with some of your favorite products? Catch one of the many inspirational sexpert speakers? Attend an interactive workshop on one of today’s hottest sex topics? The mind truly boggles at everything the expo has to offer. Continue Reading
Having a threesome is one of the top fantasies for men and women. And it never fails to be one of the most popular topics on the Sex With Emily site. Whenever we do a podcast, blog, or even a whisper about threesomes, everyone perks up a little bit… It’s an exciting topic, and one that we all want to learn a little more about…
Well, here’s a treat for you: a peek into the part of the threesome triad that is often shrouded in mystery: The Unicorn. Continue Reading
It’s easy to forget about the double standards that surround sex when you’re an avid follower of Sex With Emily, especially when you work here. Yet, once I leave the office, it soon becomes abundantly clear that certain archaic ways of thinking about sex still exist.
Whether it’s from conversations I have with friends, cat-callers on the street, or scenes that pop up on TV, I am repeatedly reminded that, as a woman, there are always going to be people making assumptions about my sex life. They will pigeonhole and stereotype and doubt my ability to enjoy sex in a healthy way. They will form opinions, usually uninformed ones, based on what they THINK they know to be true. Because who’s more of an expert on my sex life than strangers?
NEWSFLASH: Women like sex just as much as men. Continue Reading