When starting a sexual relationship with someone, there is one dreaded question that inevitably comes up in your coital conversations. What’s your number? The number of people that you’ve had sex with somehow always comes into question and it can be a nerve-wracking question to answer.
I recently experienced something of a crisis while pondering my own sexual identity, and thought of this question. I could not, for the life of me remember the number of people I have had sex with. Up until this point I felt that I had kept fairly meticulous mental record of “my number.” I remember when it was 2, I remember when it was 10, I even remember my favorite number, 15.
Somewhere after 20, however, I irretrievably lost count. I tried to make a list, crossing off “almosts” and writing question marks next to forgotten names. But alas, my list-making was to no avail. I began to question the validity of my own memory and whether some of these sexual encounters were figments of my fear, fantasy or imagination. Continue Reading
Like a lot of women, I didn’t have the most pleasurable introduction to anal play. I was pressured, unprepared, and as a result, found myself in a fair amount of pain. My experience left me figuratively scarred and utterly apprehensive to re-approach any sexual rear-entry.
But as I’ve grown sexually and personally, one of my ongoing goals has been opening doors that I had hastily deemed permanently closed. For me, an upstanding symbol of this sexual renaissance is the glorious butt plug. Continue Reading
I’m in love! Full blown, utterly stunned, can’t-believe-I-have-someone-like-this-in-my-life, in love. I have never felt such intense emotions for someone, or loved someone so unconditionally. He makes my day better, my life lighter and is there for me whenever I need him. The best part? It’s reciprocal! The catch? He’s my completely, 100% gay best friend.
Consent. It’s a seemingly simple concept that, for many reasons, is largely misunderstood. How can something as easy as a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer be so misconstrued, so often? Contrary to popular belief, ignorance is not always bliss. You may think you know when there’s consent, but unless you’re 100 percent on the same page as your potential sexual partner, the actual act of sex with them remains strictly a possibility. Continue Reading
Once upon a time I had a boyfriend who told me I was loose…
I knew the minute he told me that it was bullshit. His opinion was wrong. I had learned enough about the female anatomy to know, logically, that my vagina was totally normal.
No previous partner had ever made mention of my pussy being anything but a wonderful and satisfying place to be. I took care of it, I loved it, I even named her Tallulah Belle! Still, despite my better judgement, his uninformed opinion about the narrowness of my vaginal canal affected me profoundly. Continue Reading
I arrived at Middlebury College with a feather in my hair and an appetite for adventure. The tiny liberal arts campus nested in the Green Mountains beckoned me like a hippie commune. No Greek life, no hazing. Only love, drugs, and progressive conversations around gender and sexuality.
Or so I thought…
Once upon a time, I took a man’s virginity. This isn’t odd or strange or unprecedented in human history, nor was it a “first” for me. The thing that made this experience, and the ensuing pseudo-relationship, remarkable was that this virgin (let’s call him Victor) was 32 years old.
Victor was not only a virgin of sex, he was a virgin of dating, relationships, ANY sexual activity and even close friendships with women. I was the first naked woman he had ever seen in real life, and I was the first person, besides himself, to ever take a peek at his penis. Continue Reading
We could all use an update on the term “masculinity”. The old, familiar definition of masculin is drenched in toxicity. What is the new, woke-r definition of masculinity that we should try to push?
From prehistory, to today, the idea of asserting dominance has always been one of the shapers of humanity. From the Roman Coliseum to the Military Industrial complex, the idea of masculinity has also been used as a form of dominance.
In recent years however, we as a culture have been exposing the underbelly of when the idea of masculine goes too far. This is what we know as toxic masculinity.
If you thought Valentine’s Day was hard when there was only two of you, where do you turn for tasteful tips when you’re in a polyamorous throuple? Or have a spouse and a girlfriend?
Polyamorous and non-monogamous relationships never seem to get any recognition on this love-filled holiday. Now that they’re becoming more common, it’s time they got some info.
So where do you start? Well, we did some work for you. Continue Reading
It’s hard to pinpoint the precise moment when I realized that my life’s path was to become a sexual activist and pleasure mentor.
It could have been during my first menstruation. I was shocked by the lack of ritual, female community support, and sacred communication around it. Maybe it was during my adolescence, as I helped raise children that weren’t my own. Continue Reading