Dating used to be so simple. We’d meet people through our friends or colleagues, at the grocery store, at work or at school. It was almost always someone with a close proximity to you, so you could rest assured that they weren’t an axe murderer, and after a date or two, it was pretty easy to figure out where you stood with each other.
Dating today, on the other hand, is a whirlwind of opportunity—and confusion.
We meet people through online dating services and through apps, swiping left and right based on a profile we’ve created—a profile that can sometimes feel like a brand we’re trying to sell to potential suitors. When we actually meet this person in the flesh, we have no idea if our relationship is potentially serious or casual, romantic or platonic. The doubt and ambiguity is just too much! We’re so overwhelmed that we blackout; we forget how we got to the coffee shop, and why we even went on this date in the first place. Continue Reading
I used to think that the phrase “Less is more” was a lie we told kids so they wouldn’t overdo it on the whipped cream, or sunscreen—basically anything that kids can get their hands on. Then I got older and started accumulating stuff, both literal and metaphorical. Suddenly the idea of “less” seemed a lot more attractive….
Happy International Women’s Day!
Starting back in 1909, International Women’s Day originated as a way to honor the movement for women’s right. It is observed in many countries around the world. Although the focus of the day differs from region to region, the overall goal is the same: to celebrate women in all their achievements, whether they be economic, social, political or even, you guessed it, sexual. Continue Reading
I arrived at Middlebury College with a feather in my hair and an appetite for adventure. The tiny liberal arts campus nested in the Green Mountains beckoned me like a hippie commune. No Greek life, no hazing. Only love, drugs, and progressive conversations around gender and sexuality.
Or so I thought.
Like so many incoming Freshman, I could not wait to explore my sexuality. My first semester, I was like a kid in a candy shop. So many beautiful men—sculpted, tall, wielding lacrosse sticks or squash rackets—all up for grabs. I would wake up on Sunday mornings with the stale taste of Tequila on my tongue and a new story to share at brunch with the girls.
My love life was a delicious mess, the electric background noise to my academic endeavors and friendships. It motivated me to do my homework (going to the library is so much more fun with the possibility of running into your crush) and provided good fodder for journal entries. But the dark underbelly of Middlebury hookup culture was always there, slowly but surely wearing away at my self-esteem. Continue Reading
Many have equated the act of having sex to the act of eating pizza: even if it’s not that good, it’s still pretty good. Being that sex and pizza are my two favorite things in this vice-filled world, I would like to call bullsh*t. While it can be difficult for pizza or sex to be completely disappointing, it definitely happens.
Hopefully the amount of crazy, amazing sex you’re having outweighs the mediocre and unsatisfactory bouts, but it’s not going to be sunshine and rainbows every time. For those of us who have had a good amount of sexual excursions in their life, there has tobe at least one horror story you’d like to keep behind closed doors. No matter how bad the sex is, though, it can always be worse. Much, much worse.
There are certain things you can always count on from your girl friends.
They understand the healing power of a latte. If you need feminine supplies, they will not rest until the correct product is slipped discreetly into your hand. No matter how busy life gets, they will always down for brunch. And most importantly, if you are experiencing relationship troubles, they will be there at the drop of a hat to listen, analyze and give advice.
Even if it’s three in the morning and you’re freaking out over a text message laced with mixed signals, you know that all you need to do is put out the bat signal — like magic, they will materialize, wine in hand, to help you sort through the mess. It’s a beautiful thing, really. Continue Reading
Although I don’t remember the first time I stumbled across porn, I was definitely very young and quite uninformed. I’m sure I had but one stray pube, and was most likely beginning to struggle with my sexuality. At the time, porn served as entertainment, really. I didn’t even masturbate to it because, in all honesty, I had no clue what was going on.
Nonetheless, it became a bit of a hobby of mine. And because all the boys at school were talking about it, I felt like I was part of the cool kids’ club. It was fun and innocent (kind of) at the time, but none us thought these images of porn gods and goddesses would skew our perception of the realities of sex.
Porn was our instructional manual, and until sex education came along (or didn’t come along, as the case may be) it was the only source of information we had. Continue Reading
It’s raining in Los Angeles. And it’s coming down hard. Out on the sopping wet streets, I can hear the crescendo of passing sirens getting louder and louder, then quietly fading to nothing. It’s probably cops. A lot of us Angelenos go kinda crazy when the weather gets like this.
I know, I do.
My lover telephones to say, “Sorry sweetheart, I won’t be able to make it.” (Well he sent a text, but you know what I mean).
I’m already climbing the walls when I get the news I’d be riding solo. And there’s no sign this rain is letting up anytime soon. The city is soaked but there’s an electric pulse in the air that makes your whole body hum with anticipation. A storm is coming in.
What’s a girl to do on a mad night like this? If you think I should watch a movie or curl up with a good book, then you don’t know what kind of a dame you’re dealing with.
No. There is only one thing to do. Well, two things to be precise… two very special things. And this is their story: a tale of two wands. Continue Reading
It’s that time of year again! The time when that cutie pie Cupid makes his rounds, leaving a trail of romance — and I think we all know what happens next. Restaurants get packed, giant teddy bears sell out like hotcakes and, come Valentine’s Eve, clothes will be coming off.
These lovely traditions were once necessary ingredients for the perfect V-Day, but these days, it seems like the majority of people are cooking up their plans from scratch… That is, if they’re not saying “screw it” and ordering out. The holiday just isn’t as impressive as it used to be. Now it seems like the day of love is bringing nothing but stress, heartache and the inevitable heartburn that follows the entire box of fudge you ate.
Consent. A seemingly simple concept that, for many reasons, is largely misunderstood. How can something as easy as a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer be so misconstrued, so often? Contrary to popular belief, ignorance is not always bliss. You may think you know when there’s consent, but unless you’re 100 percent on the same page as your potential sexual partner, the actual act of sex with them remains strictly a possibility. Continue Reading