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That’s What She Said (Or He Said!)

Masturbation has always been a touchy subject in relationships. How exactly do you go about it when you’re having sex on a regular basis? Does masturbating mean that you aren’t that into your partner? Does it mean your partner doesn’t satisfy your needs? What if one partner does it all the time and the other has never even tried?

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Masturbation and sex. Two acts so closely related, so immensely scrutinized and so loved by everyone around the planet. Many of us have long enjoyed both pleasure-filled encounters, but some of us let masturbation fall by the wayside—especially when we’re in a relationship. If you can have sex, why bother to masturbate?

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Nobody wants to say they met their boo on a stupid dating app. For whatever reason, our culture still associates dating apps with desperation. But here’s the thing: sure, it’d be nice to meet people in person like the good old days when grandpa rode to school on a donkey and your friends actually looked at you instead of their phones when you had conversations, but those days are over. So get with the program, y’all. The survival of our species has always depended on adaptation and willingness to change.

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As we celebrate Masturbation May, it’s important to recognize why self-pleasure is so important. Of course this month is all about loving yourself with the goal of an earth-shattering climax, but it’s also about recognizing that masturbation is a healthy and wonderful expression of your amazing sexual self. Masturbation May is also the perfect time to show your lover exactly what feels best for you and your body, and to see what makes your partner hot too. So let’s jump in the shower for our six hottest tips on how to get dirty with some good, clean, masturbation fun. 

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From day one as an only child, it was all about ME: my toys, my clothes, my world and ultimately my body. When puberty hit, it became all about ME time; a contemplation and reflection space with a piece of equipment that I suddenly understood after discovering a missing chapter in its user’s manual. An interlude to explore and indulge in any and every twist and turn of a sexual fantasy world that was vertically and horizontally expanding faster than West LA. Yes, there was a little shame in the 15 seconds after planting my flag at the summit, but by and large I felt entitled to this pursuit in the same way many feel about firearms and pedestrian right-of-ways. “I’m doing this and it’s gonna get done. Try and stop me.” Continue Reading

dating dramaMy dating days are far behind me (I’ve been with my man for a hundred years), but like a lot of soul-searching types, I tend to revisit past relationships in my mind. I think about how grateful I am that things didn’t actually work out the way I wanted them to at the time and about how the timing was just perfect for me to meet my husband when I did. I was emotionally ready for a healthy, no-games relationship.

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earthdayAs more and more of us are becoming conscious of our ecological footprint, we’re all looking for ways to cut back on our environment impact. While most of our contemporary devices still require a charge to get the job done (our phones, computers and cars still have batteries, after all), gone are the days of stockpiling the little man-made toxic tubes of chemicals that make all of our things “go” and end up leaking cadmium and nickel into the soil under the landfill where they end up.

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lets-have-sexWith all the complications that come with sex and dating, once you’ve locked someone down, the easiest part should be having sex…right? No longer do you have to impress this person or bring them to a state of awe because you’ve already got them right there on the couch eating potato chips and sloppy joes.

When it comes to actually doing ‘it,’ things become lopsided; one person initiates all the time, and it never seems to cross the other’s mind. Maybe both partners grew into laziness as time passed and before they realized it—the last time they had sex was before football season.  Continue Reading

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