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When setting the mood for sexy night in, there’s a countless supply of tantalizing tools to help with the job. But what’s the biggest, most unsuspecting culprit at risk of making or breaking a bedroom session?

To no surprise, it’s your mattress!

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Q: DEAR EMILY,

I am a 23-year-old lesbian, and my dating pool seems more like a puddle. I’m shy, so walking up to a woman in a bar isn’t really my thing. Conversely, I’m very feminine and have been told that women can’t easily tell that I’m gay, making me unapproachable for women who are too scared to ask.

Last but not least, I’ve noticed that I’m attracted to older women and find myself being intimidated by them because I’m not very sexually experienced.

Basically, I need suggestions on where to meet women and how to be more confident and put myself out there.

Please help!

Cassie, 23, Kentucky

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This week in our Sex and the Brain series, we explored the differences of arousal between men and women. 

While it may be obvious to some that men and women don’t get aroused the same, many still have not acquired this piece of knowledge. Men are like frying pans, and women are like slow cookers – so let’s get down to the science behind the kitchen appliance metaphors.

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