Condom Chivalry & Sex Etiquette
It’s a changing world out there. While some may say that chivalry is dead, I’ve seen many men who prove quite the contrary. As a girl, I know it’s lovely to get flowers and have doors held open for us, but I’m thinking of a different kind of courtliness: safe sex provisions. Is it the man’s responsibility to come equipped with protection?
Have you ever found yourself in this position? You start hooking up and just as things are getting hot and heavy, you or your partner asks for a condom only to realize that neither of you have one. You find yourself in the middle of a sexual stand-still: do you continue unprotected, stop in the heat of the moment to get one, or berate your playmate for not being prepared? Though neither of you came prepared, who should have been?
I’ve heard the topic debated a lot more commonly than one might think. I’ve heard the side that since women ultimately decide whether or not they want to have sex, they should carry the condom. I’ve also heard it argued that the man should bring or have a condom, (I guess since he’s the one who puts it on?) but sometimes they just don’t. Maybe he was simply unprepared, or maybe he really wasn’t expecting to get lucky. But since preventing STD’s and pregnancy is most likely a shared goal, shouldn’t it too be a shared responsibility when the expected-unexpected arises?
WHAT ARE THE ISSUES?
↳ Sometimes we’re all just a little unprepared.
Maybe I have a stash of condoms in the car, but I also might have taken an Uber out that night! In a case like this, I’d need a Plan B (and hopefully not the pill of the same name).
Some people worry that they will be viewed as “easy” if they carry condoms on them.
A man doesn’t want to send the message that he’s necessarily expecting sex by having them on him (though that also makes him look responsible, major points!).
↳ And if neither of you has one…
You’ll have to make the decision to go out and pick up protection pre-sex, or risk having unprotected sex.
WHY IT’S WORTH IT TO CARRY BACK-UP
If you have one on you and your partner doesn’t, you’ll both be good! (At least for one round, anyway). It will probably never happen that you’ll become overwhelmed by the amount of condoms you each have, and we know it can be risky not to use anything.
Let’s look to some statistics about condom usage.
↳ There are 20 million new cases of STD’s in America every year. These cost the country about $16 billion in healthcare costs each year!
↳ 1 in 4 people in relationships use condoms. The stats are 1 in 3 for single people.
↳ 2 in 3 sex acts among single adults don’t involve a condom.
While of course it is a choice to use protection or not, it is smart to always have the option for both you and your partner to decide together. I know sex happens without a lot of planning or preparation sometimes, so do what I do: keep one, non-expired and well packaged – condom in a safe secret spot in your bag, wallet or car – whether you’re a man or a woman! Condoms are also widely accessible and inexpensive. There are tons of ways to stock up on free condoms from University resources, or sexual health clinics, even your doctor! There are fun ways to play it safe.