Dildos For Military Wives?

When it comes to supporting the troops, most settle for hoisting a flag, giving a half-sober thumbs up to someone in fatigues on Memorial Day, or watching portions of ‘Patton’ on AMC.
But the patriots at sex toy firm RealTouch have laid siege to bored, everyday expressions of gratitude by promising to bring the cutting edge of virtual sex to the homes of 1,000 military wives.


Using the internet and ‘teledildonics’, a technology sadly overlooked by Jules Verne in his visions of the future, this boner-bereft batallion will be able to stimulate their partners’ soldiers through motorized, hopefully bullet-proof masturbation sleeves. Armed with an internal lube pouch electric and motor coils, the RealTouch is able to heat, moisten, and grip any member of the armed services captured within. A partner at the other end of the connection is able to control the device, and like a Predator Drone operator can deliver a devastating trans-Atlantic sexual payload, with hopefully little collateral damage. Not entirely sure where that simile ended up, but you get the picture.

Now while we here at SWE are obviously in favor of promoting healthy relationships, long-distance and fraught with danger or not, from a political standpoint perhaps it’s still too soon to be dumping prosthetic lady parts around an Afghanistan where US actions, even without our soldiers eagerly humping fleshy robots, have left the populace understandably confounded. Maybe let’s focus on winning hearts and minds before we move onto other body parts. It’s called foreplay, folks.

If you want to hear more about tips for keeping long distance relationships alive and well, check out Emily’s Episode 302 – How to Make a Sex Tape….