Don’t Fear the Foreskin: A Guide to the Uncircumcised
I’ve gone down a lot of internet rabbit holes full of vitriol, name calling, and ugly debate. It happens to all of us; we click on the bait, open the comments and voila! You’re reading some sick burns and opinions stated as fact. By far the worst of the antagonistic trolling for knee-jerk reactions I’ve encountered has had nothing to do with politics— it is in mommy groups around the subject of circumcision.
Some moms will scratch the virtual eyes out of others mom over the subject.
Without diving into the debate here, suffice to say that even experts (doctors and the World Health Organization) disagree on whether or not to cut. While overall rates of circumcision in newborn boys has fallen dramatically in the US since 1980 (particularly in Western states), the US still leads the world in non-religious (hospital) procedures at 54.7%.
Whatever a parent’s reasons for performing or not performing the procedure, chances are we women will encounter an uncut member in our black book of hookups at some point in our lives, especially if your partner was born after 1980 (hey-o millennials!) or if you take a dip in the European penis pond (that, by the way, sounds like a terrific party).
So while most of us Americans are accustomed to cut, we may well come across an uncut guy, and there’s no reason to recoil or get intimidated by a little foreskin. Just handle the delicate situation delicately.
How to Work With What his Mama Gave Him
Foreskin is essentially a hood of ultra-sensitive, suede-like skin covering the glans (or the head or tip) of the penis. Many argue that leaving it intact allows men to feel greater sensitivity to sexual stimulation. Proponents of circumcision argue that removing it means avoiding bacterial infection between the folds of the penis. However (hopefully), if your guy takes showers regularly and washes his hands, chances are he also knows how to maintain general cleanliness of his man bits (you know how to clean yours, right?).
If you’re about to get down, but you’re still nervous and in your head about it, try saying, “I’m not feeling so fresh, why don’t we get the ball rolling in the shower?” This gives you a front row seat for seeing how he works his shaft before you do. Clever, ain’t it?
Before getting into the grope-fest, it’s important to understand that the foreskin is hyper sensitive. Just like a clitoris, the foreskin is packed with thousands (some argue tens-of-thousands!) of nerve endings. So handle with care. In the event that there’s too much friction and he becomes too sensitive to the touch, just slow your roll, and make sure you’re using lube, like some of JO’s Jellies.
Talk About It:
Since communication is also lubrication, use this as an opportunity to connect with your guy; have a little tête-à-tête about what he’s into. Ask him what he likes and how he likes it, let him give you a tour of his body, just like you would give him. Like vaginas, every penis is unique, so you can have a very hot convo about what you both want before you even touch each other.
The Actual Sex:
When it comes to intercourse, what’s amazing about the design of our bodies is that our parts work beautifully together. When he’s fully erect, the lips of your vulva typically do the job of pushing back the foreskin as he enters you, and adds extra friction on the clitoris, making the experience pleasurable for both of you.
On the Job:
But what about doing your job? As in blow- and hand-jobs? You will likely want to maneuver a little differently. Some guys might like it when you gently slide the skin up and down over the head, using your tongue or lubricated fingers to stimulate the tip. Did I mention lubricated? Please use lube.
And speaking of sensitivity, be super aware of the fact that many men are sensitive about their foreskin. Having possibly grown up enduring locker-room teasing and feeling like the odd man out, a lot of uncut guys consult their doctors about adult circumcision to feel more mainstream.
Just as it’s a tough topic among moms of boys, it’s even more so for men, the owners of the members in question. You’re best off filing it under “none of my business,” and avoiding the topic altogether. And just like with any guy, stroking the ego while you stroke his id will go a long way towards making you both happy, and your sexual encounters satisfying.