Emily’s Sex Terms To Know

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

We’re big fans of being well schooled in the realm of pleasure, so here are a few key sex terms to familiarize yourself with, in order to never feel lost in the bedroom again!

If you’re a seasoned Sex with Emily listener, then you may be familiar with a lot of our sexual lexicon. Or perhaps you just need a refresher, which is totally okay too.



(n.) The scientific term for oral-to-anal stimulation, which is also commonly referred to as “rimming”.

Example: Let’s be real – after that episode of Girls, we all know you already know what anilingus is.



(v.) To prevent our own orgasms from taking place, whether consciously or not. Similar to stopping a sneeze instead of just letting it happen.

Example: Struggling to orgasm is an unfortunately common plight. But more times than not, it’s a result of us accidentally blocking our own climax by doing things like not fully relaxing, forgetting to regularly breathe, not communicating enough with our partner, or letting our minds wander from the intimate moment.


Butt plug:

(n.) A sex toy designed for insertion into the rectum to incite pleasure. They have a tapered end to prevent getting lost inside of the butt and can (read: should) be used by all genders/orientations.

Example: Whenever looking to spice up your toy game (or dabble in anal play), try experimenting with a butt plug like the We-Vibe Ditto! Sure, they can be used alone or as backdoor preparation; but you can also double down on all the pleasure perks by wearing one while using another toy and/or during penetrative sex for an extra amplified kick.


Dominance and submission:

(n.) A set of sexual behaviors, customs and rituals where one person (the Top/Dominant) has consistent control over the other (the bottom/submissive). Also one of the subcategories and known as the D & S in the popular initialism BDSM.

Example: Think whips, chains, floggers, nipple clamps, handcuffs, rope, blindfolds and ballgags—you know, everything both Christian Grey and Rhianna would be proud of you knowing about and thoroughly enjoying. (Just don’t forget the aftercare)



(v.) To delay your orgasm multiple times during partner sex or masturbation on purpose to reach a stronger orgasm in the end.

Example: They always say slow and steady wins the race; and after just one stint of discovering how much stronger a built-up orgasm can be after edging, you too will see that Aesop is, in fact, the man.


Erogenous Zones:

(n.) Areas of the body that are rich with nerve endings and yield major sexual arousal when stimulated.

Example: In episode 4.11 of Friends (“The One with Phoebe’s Uterus”), Monica explains there are “Seven. Seven! SEVEN!” main erogenous zones. In reality, there are tons all over the body, with some more sensitive than others…but we still will always love her lesson, nonetheless.



(n.) A small yet mighty piece of tissue found on the underside of the penis, where the foreskin connects/used to connect to its head. See also: usually the most sensitive part of the penis.

Example: Although we never knew what they were called, we have frenulum under our tongues and inside both upper and lower lips; however, I think I speak for most in saying the penile frenulum is the most fun one of them all. 



(n.) The erogenous zone of all erogenous zones that brings immense pleasure when stimulated on women’s bodies. It’s also frequently called the Gräfenberg- or G-Spot, and while sometimes tough to locate, can reap the elusive reward of female ejaculation as well.

Example: Even though it’s often called a “spot”, G-Area is a much more accurate label; considering it involves all the spongy tissue across the front vaginal wall and ranks up there with Waldo and Carmen Sandiego as far as the challenge of ever knowing where it is.



(n.) A membrane at the entrance of a woman’s vagina. There are a lot of myths around the hymen, and while this tissue is often thought of as breaking or tearing during intercourse for the first time, it can also bust from the far simpler life events, such as using tampons or even a rough bike ride. 

Example: The next time you need to cite an artful use of metaphor in English class, try going for the less-than-subtle nod to shagging in glam metal anthem “Cherry Pie”. Because whether it occurred to you or not, the track is totally about having sex with a former virgin, whose “cherry” (i.e. hymen) has been officially popped.


Kivin Method: 

(n.) An oral sex technique where one partner goes down on the other from the side, instead of between the legs as per tradition.

Example: Some prefer to buck the status quo by leaving their Christmas lights up until the middle of January; others just opt for the Kivin Method



(n.) A temporary hiatus taken from dating, especially after going through a breakup. Can also be used as deliberate time to spend on a friendship in need of work.

Example: It’s easy falling into the trap of one bad date after another, but if you find yourself losing sight of your own self-love in the process, perhaps it’s time for a good ol’ fashioned Manatorium. You’ll thank yourself for it later – we promise!


Mutual Masturbation:

(n.) The collective act of masturbating with your partner, whether at the same time, or taking turns.

Example: It’s a mistake to think that masturbation stops at the doors of a long-term relationship; so opt for mutual masturbation as a way to see how your partner likes it done, get to take mental notes, and enjoy tons of amazing visuals in the process. 



(n.) The area of skin between the genitals and the anus on both men and women. Also happens to be a majorly sensitive erogenous zone, especially when looking to stimulate a prostate.

Example: X may be known to mark the pirates’ spot, but perineums do the same when it comes to secret treasures of pleasure amidst penis anatomy. By lightly stroking this extra responsive area during a blowjob or intimate massage, he’ll discover a whole new world of prostate-provoking bliss that’s capable of relaxing his entire body, too. That sounds like some treasure worth discovering if you ask us! 



(n.) Common household items that can be turned into sex toys. Additionally seen as one of the easiest (and cheapest) ways to get kinky.

Example: When it comes to pervertables, the possibilities are truly endless. Whether it’s using a wooden spoon or spatula for spanking, chip clips for erotic clamping, a scarf for soft restraints, or the sofa for exploring all new positions, a great wide world of kink is literally at your fingertips.


Pubococcygeus Muscles:

(n.) A series of muscles that extend across the pelvic floor to keep key organs in place. They also control the functionality of our bladder, bowels and, best of all, the strength of our orgasms!

Example: Even though weak PC muscles are responsible for misfortunes of nature like incontinence, they’re just as responsible for all the contractions that take place during sex as well. So we can use Kegel exercises to intensify our climaxes just as much as to improve those annoying other side effects through the perks of having a strong pelvic floor. If you’d like a wingman in your kegel efforts, the Intensity from Pour Moi will be your new best friend. 



Role Playing:

(v.) To take on the part of another person, character or dynamic. Often carried out by couples in order to spice things up.

Example: Of course we all know the classic sexy nurse, school girl and cop getups, but roleplay doesn’t have to stop there. Costumes are always an avenue, but going out to a bar or hotel to pretend you don’t know each other and see where the night may lead can totally be just as hot.



(n.) A broad range of principles and practices of sexual union between a man and a woman based on Eastern philosophies of spirituality. Also Sanskrit for “woven together”.

Example: After being together for a while, surprising your lover with a weekend Tantra workshop can make for a super-fun getaway. Proposing it as a first date after drunkenly swiping right on each other one night, however, won’t chock up to quite the same experience.




We hope you enjoyed brushing up on our Terms To Know! Which is your favorite? 

Alex Anderson is an LA-based lifestyle designer proactively raging against the cultural grain. By day she works in television production, and by night enjoys writing, sewing and seeking guidance from the stars. She also finally has an all black kitty named “Cher.” You can follow her website (www.alexjanderson.com) and on Instagram (@AJAndMore)!
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