Getting My Groove On: A Story of Sexual Confidence

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eeb19c37ecea1185365a9f56c801f46d32a17233_mI began having sex at a relatively young age. I was 15 when my boyfriend and I decided we were going to lose our virginities to each other. Well, more like his friends asked when we were finally going to get it over with.
Although it may not have come up for a few months if it was never brought to our attention, I was sure (at the time) that this was who I wanted to go through this life event with. Needless to say, that relationship lasted for maybe one more month before it was over.

From that point on, whenever I’d have sex with someone, it would be on their terms and not my own. All I wanted to do was please, because if he was having a good time, so was I… Or at least, I THOUGHT I was. I wasn’t even aware that my own sexual experience was being put on the back burner. I was young, I had no idea what an orgasm felt like, and the guys I was seeing only had their climax in mind.

It honestly wasn’t until I was with my long-term boyfriend right out of high school that I finally began to realize something: I had never asked or directed my partners on how to make me feel great. I had always been highly sexual, but never seemed to have that full release everyone seemed to go on about. Once I experienced my first orgasm with him, it was like an alarm went off, both in my vagina and in my head. So this is what everyone is raving about! THIS was what I had been missing. From that moment on, my sex life began to progress, but it was very slow going; I still wasn’t getting my fair share of the pleasure. But this time, I was going to do something about it.

I addressed these concerns with my boyfriend and he retorted with, “every other girl has orgasmed,” and “well, I’m not a mind reader.” As rude as the first part was (and most likely false), he was completely justified in the latter. He WASN’T a mind reader; he needed some sort of direction. The only problem was, I didn’t know what to tell him because I didn’t have the answers myself. How did I liked to be touched? The subject matter kind of dropped off, but after yet another bout of sexual interactions with no climax in sight, I knew I had to take action myself. I excused myself to the bathroom and started to secretly masturbate. My boyfriend had no clue what I was up to, and I didn’t care—This wasn’t about him. This was about me, FINALLY. 

It was this final erotic epiphany that changed my life. For the first time ever, I actually felt like I had a grasp on my own pleasure… Since that fateful discovery, I’ve realized that sex is just as much about me as it is my partner. I was not there solely to please him, we were there to please each other. And if I wasn’t getting the type of attention that I needed, it was on me to tell my partner what I needed. My orgasm, my responsibility.

 I finally felt have the confidence to ask for things in bed that I was always too shy to bring up before. Recently, I even mustered up the courage to bring my Magic Wand Original into the mix. This was the toy that had opened me up to realms of pleasure I never knew my body could reach, so why should it have to sit on the sidelines when I was with a partner? From now on, whoever I’m with can also enjoy the powerful vibrations and (hopefully) revel in the Wand’s ability to get me off multiple times. 

Now that I’m single and have my flings here and there, I am not afraid to speak up about what I like and what turns me on. Thanks to this newfound confidence, I make sure that I never get the short end of any stick ever again.

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