Getting Sexually Literate: Erogenous Zones


We’ve at last reached our final installment of our Sexual Alphabet exploration.

This last journey together takes us on a tour of our erogenous zones!

Now I do realize that I’m reaching a little with the ‘Z’ here, but trust me, it’s worth it (also there are not an abundance of z words).

Many people are familiar with most popularized erogenous zones, however there are so many more than just lips, breasts, genitals, and butts.

Not to say those areas aren’t great – we all know they are. I’m just saying there is a lot more to discover, so why not feel more pleasure if you can?


Pleasure Snowflakes

Before we set out on this journey of the body, I’d like to remind you that each person’s body and mind are very different – a unique, erotic snowflake. Regardless of what Monica Geller may have convinced you of in her dazzling demonstration of simulated pleasure, there is no magic sequence of zones to hit to achieve orgasm. One person may find a particular erogenous zone much more stimulating than another, and there is no “one size fits all” map to pleasure. My intention with this piece is to provide you with some thought and pleasure provoking explorations you can enjoy solo or with partners.


Forget The Stereotypes

While erogenous zones are most commonly referenced in regards to women’s bodies, the truth is they are abundant and universal in all body types, regardless of gender identity and sexual expression. An erogenous zone is simply an area of the body that has heightened sensations when touched correctly, and can elicit a pleasurable response. So let’s throw any gender norms and expectations out the window.


Unconventional Delights

So what are some of these mysterious zones?

Let’s start with the scalp.

Have you ever been in that weird uncomfortable spa chair at the hairdresser, rethinking all your life choices, but then that glorious shampoo massage begins and all your troubles melt away? No? Just me? Well trust me when I say it’s divine.

You can have those sensations without any of the small talk and lost inches from your hair. The next time you’re making out with a lover, try gently massaging their scalp with your fingertips, beginning at the crown and making slow circles downwards.


These can be super sensitive, and for some people, very erotic. Try exploring your own earlobe with a light touch to see if it tickles your fancy. If playing with a partner, you could also incorporate warm and cool breath play, as well as whispering into their ear. Try tracing your tongue around the outer edge of their ear before giving the earlobe a little nibble or suck.

The Nape of the Neck

Sweeping your partner’s hair up in a handful, cover the back of their neck with delicate kisses. If you enjoy rougher play together, try out some vintage vibes and have a hickey contest together. Some say it’s a “high school” thing, but it feels so damn good, doesn’t it?



The arms have a lot of erotic potential, with the delicate skin at the inner wrist and inner elbow being particularly sensitive for many people. Trace your fingertips and nails very softly over this area, bringing a flush to the skin. Follow with tender kisses and even licking this area. 


Next we have the stomach, and while it does have a lot of erogenous potential, it can also be an area that a lot of people feel self conscious about. As with all of these suggestions, it’s important to be sensitive to other’s insecurities, so do check in with them before exploring this area.

The Navel

The navel is packed full of nerve endings, and for some people, stimulation here can send a jolt down to their genitals. The area of skin between the navel and top of the pubic mound is an often overlooked erogenous zone, and gentle kissing, stroking, biting, slapping, tickling, licking – all can be lovely here. Continue that tour of your partners erogenous zones on down to their inner thighs and give them some of the same treatment.

Back of the Knee

Similarly to the arms, the inner knee often enjoys extra treatment, since  the skin is very thin and often sensitive. Being a commonly overlooked area, even just the act of bringing attention and energy here can be erotic, regardless of the type of touch.


A Twist On The Basics

Okay, before you get too worried that I’m going to just breeze right past the mouth, genitals, breasts and buttocks, don’t worry, I’ve never skipped them in my life and am not going to start now.

I do urge you to play with your routines and find new avenues for pleasure in these classic areas, though. Instead of using your go-to moves, think of a touch you don’t use often that you could experiment with, like slaps, pinches, or nibbling.

For example:

Breasts & Nipples

Instead of giving breasts the old ‘orange juicer’ treatment, try blowing cold air on the aureolas, softly tweaking a nipple or two, tracing your fingers softly along the collarbone, and massaging underneath and on the sides of the breast. 


Stuck in a makeout rut? Ask your partner to close their eyes, and gently trace their lips with your fingertips. If they enjoy that, follow with the tip of your tongue. Turn your head to the opposite side than you usually do when kissing, and try using different tongue patterns within their mouth, like swirls or teasing at the opening of their mouth.

The Butt

When heading for that delightful pirate treasure (dat booty), why not experiment with giving your partner a sensual buttock massage with scented oils. Explore every inch of their butt (but don’t go in without asking). Pay special attention to the lower back, right above the butt cheeks, and the crease underneath the buttock where it meets the thigh. Work your thumbs in firm circles, looking for subtle cues in your partner, such as flushed cheeks and changes in breathing. If they seem to be enjoying it, keep going!


Mound Everest

Sometimes, once the pubic mound is reached it can be too easy to dash to the finish line, but I urge you to hold off, and keep climbing mound everest.

The pubic mound can be a beautiful source of pleasure and relaxation for any gender, and for vagina owners, may even stimulate the g-spot from the outside. Massage of the pubic mound can increase blood flow to the genitals, increasing sensation and arousal. This can be done with fingers and palms, or with a vibrator like the We-Vibe Wish. Once your lover is aching for you to climb down from the pubic mound to their genitals, transition from fingers to lightly sucking on and licking their mound to build even more tension before heading further south.

Delicious Desserts

Alright, I know you can’t resist it any longer, so it’s time to dive into the genitals. These are of course, erogenous zones (duh). In keeping with the theme of pleasure-filled exploration, try different touch styles and different areas of stimulation.

Have you tried stimulating your partner through their clothing? Use a Magic Wand over their clothes and see the change in sensation. When was the last time you licked a perineum? Are you playing with a penis owner, but have gotten stuck in a rut with the way you stroke their shaft? Try giving the Hot Octopus Pulse 3 a whirl. Have you explored their testicles together? Start light and see how it goes!

The point is, pleasure is beautiful, fluid, and something that should always be looked at as fresh, exciting, and ever-changing. Don’t get stuck in a sexual rut just because you found an efficient route to climax, there are many beautiful ways to feel good, so find a new one today!


We hope you enjoyed our Sexual Alphabet Exploration, feel free to email us anytime with questions and requests for more juicy topics!


Isabella Frappier is an Australian writer, holistic life coach, tarot reader, birth doula, and apothecarist who is currently based in LA. When she’s not busy championing her sex positive agenda she… oh wait – she’s always busy doing that. You can connect with her at or follew her Instagram @bellatookaphoto!
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