Go-To Sex Hacks for Better Bedroom Experiences

Once you start having sex, after all your experiences, partners, and any mishaps that have probably happened along the way, you start to develop “moves” or a routine. You see what works for you, what may work for most of your partners, and you stick to that because, well, it’s what you know.

That’s a big reason why we do what we do here–– people are always looking to spice things up, change the game, perfect it. One of the best ways to do that is to open up the dialogue and see what others have to say, not just the experts.

About a month ago, we were lucky enough to have the amazing editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine Michele Promaulayko on the Sex With Emily podcast. Emily and Michele wanted to know what all of your “go-to” sex hacks are, and in return, the chance to win a copy of Cosmo’s Sexy Sutra book– filled with positions, tips, and hacks for a better sex life!

While there were plenty of hacks filling up the SWE inbox, there were 5 in particular that caught our eye. We thought it only fair to let you in on their secrets.

From Closed to Open:

My sex hack to help sex with my husband was turning to polyamory. Not only has it lead to great group sex with other people, but it has opened up our communication. It was hard to talk about sex with him before. He’s always had me up on a pedestal – treated me too gently, and didn’t get as kinky as I liked. Now that we’ve opened up our marriage, I can be openly bisexual with him, talk about women, and we’re beginning to learn about the wild world of BDSM. Thanks so much for your podcast we’ve learned so many incredible tips!

  • Harriet, Age 38, VA


Keep Your Clothes ON:

I love using the Magic Wand with my partner as foreplay over my clothes, or on the inside of my thighs, to get my mind and body ready for sex. Eventually, I just take over and give myself an orgasm which he doesn’t mind because it usually leads to more. ;)

  • Elizabeth, Age 29, ND


The Oral Trifecta:

My sex hack is the way I give my wife oral. I start by warming her up with kisses and light touches, working my way down to her vagina. When I start giving her oral, it’s slow, methodical, and purposeful.  When she’s fully aroused, that’s when I go for my “Always works routine.”

I’m usually fondling her breasts by this point and I remove a hand, lube it up (thanks for the JO lube suggestions) and place it near her bum. Then, I use one finger to lightly touch her anus, giving it a rub around the rim. It’s only when I get that “I’m going to explode moan,” that I slip my lube soaked finger inside her butt and rub her G-spot through her back door. So attention is paid to the butt, the breasts, and the vagina.

This always gives her an earth shattering orgasm. In fact, it’s so intense, it’s gotten me off a couple of times just giving it to her!

  • Carlos, Age 51, WA


The Unbutton Signal:

When my husband comes home from work and I’m making dinner or helping our son with his homework or cleaning up some mess our daughter has made, I always kiss him hello. Sometimes I stop what I’m doing and go to him, sometimes he comes to me if my hands are full. A simple hello kiss. A reconnect.

If I want him to know I want him later on for some “adult time” (since I can’t say, “I can’t wait for the kids to go to sleep so I can f*ck you,” because, hello, the kids are awake and around), I will unbutton his polo and kiss the exposed skin. Just the unbuttoning of his shirt lets him know I want him. It’s such a simple thing, but it’s the start of the foreplay for the night. It lets him know I’m thinking of undressing him. A lot of times he teases me and says something like, “I just walked in the door give me a minute,” or he’ll nibble my neck (a sure sign it’s on and I will have a hard time walking tomorrow).

It’s not crazy. It’s simple and it can be done in front of the kids and isn’t overtly sexual, but it gets both of our imaginations going.

  • Meredith, Age 35, FL


Penetration Change Up:

This one is a twofer, but they both have to do with penetration and work with my spouse every time. The first one is about slowing down. During intercourse, slowly penetrate your partner; slowly withdraw. Do this for a while – tease your partner and enjoy the sensations.

The second is a shallow penetration. During intercourse, barely penetrate your partner (not very deeply). Then, grab your shaft toward the base and go back and forth with your hand so your fist is slapping against her vulva. Alternate this technique with some deep penetrative strokes, then go back to vulva stimulation with your hand. Use your other hand to lightly stroke and stimulate her breasts and her nipples.

  • Jerry, Age 43, CO


These go-to moves seem to be working for these people– maybe they can work for you, too. Get inspired and get in the bedroom, because you should never stop expanding your threshold for pleasure!



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