Goodbye Gag Reflex, Hello Hot Oral Sex

8827e09a62d982091297b89efd729d47When done correctly, a blow job can be the perfect weapon to have in your arsenal. It’s hot, it’s intimate and has the power to catapult you to new realms of ‘dream girl’ territory, not to mention inspire your partner to return the favor. But more importantly, a great blow job can be a lot of fun!

There are times, however, when going down can be a bit of a downer. If you end up with a head-pusher or larger-than-average member, that BJ might start to feel more like a job than a frisky form of foreplay. Throw a sensitive gag reflex into the mix, the fantasy of a flawless BJ can turn into a real nightmare.

Chances are, if toothbrushes and tongue depressors are your worst enemies, blow jobs probably aren’t your idea of a good time. And the thought of deep throating? Forget about it! Even the most manageable member can bring tears to your eyes and spasms to your throat… Not exactly a mood enhancer.

But before you turn in your BJ card and giving up on going down forever, try these simple oral sex hacks to help you work through your gag reflex.

1. Get Loose

It’s common for your muscles to tense up when starting to perform oral (especially if you’re thinking “I’m gonna gag, I’m gonna gag” the entire time). Unfortunately this makes it even easier to trigger that sensitive reflex. The trick is to relax both your body and your mind beforehand. You know what really helps a girl relax? Knocking out an orgasm or two.. Or five. Just a little food for thought.

There are also exercises you can do that train your throat and lessen your gag reflex over time. Start by placing a clean finger in your mouth and slowly move toward back of your throat until you trigger your gag reflex. Practice breathing through your nose and simultaneously relaxing your throat, resisting the urge to gag. The goal here is to build up how long you can last each time. Try to hold it for 10 seconds and repeat a few times the first week. The next week you can try the same thing with a dildo; practice moving it in and out, so you actually hit your gag reflex, then pull out and repeat.The key is to stay calm, breathe and relax. You’ll start to find that your gag reflex becomes less sensitive the more you work it.

And it’s not just about relaxing your throat during a blow job — your mouth should be loose, too. Don’t worry about keeping your lips super tight around his penis while you’re going down. If you let your lips fall open, you open up your throat a lot more. I know, you’re worried about getting drool everywhere, but let me assure you, a little extra lubrication never hurts.

2. Just the Tip

Contrary to what you may have learned from your high school boyfriend (who, if we’re being honest, probably learned from porn), you do not have to have his entire penis in your mouth through the whole BJ. In fact, most of the penis’s pleasure is actually packed into the tip.

Instead of going for the full monty, focus most of your oral attention on the head of his penis. Use your lips, mouth and the front half of your tongue to lick, suck and caress the tip. And don’t forget to show some extra love to his frenulum, the small V-shaped area nestled on the underside of the head of his penis. This, combined with some rhythmic hand strokes, will truly drive your guy wild without causing your throat any distress.

3. Use Your Hands

Speaking of strokes — You are not 14 anymore, and you are certainly not bobbing for apples, so there’s no reason your mouth has to do all the work. The trick to a great (and gag-free) blow job is to use all the tools at your disposal. Most women don’t realize that your hands can provide the pressure and pleasure your guy loves, and provide you with some much-needed gag reflex relief.

This is a great BJ cheat move for anyone who wants to recreate that deep-throat sensation without ending up with a serious case of lockjaw. Cup one hand around the base of his penis and lightly squeeze; use the other hand to massage his shaft while you stimulate the head with your mouth. The cupped hand will create a pressure that directs more blood flow to the tip of his member, making his pleasure from your oral handiwork even more magnified.

4. Get By With a Little Help (From Your Fleshlight)

If you’re not a huge handjob fan to begin with, there is another way to create the same effect. The Fleshlight Quickshot (AKA the handy hand job helper) has the same patented SuperSkin material as the original male masturbation sleeve, but is open at both ends. This new design allows the toy to completely wrap around his penis while leaving the head exposed, and the lightweight design makes it a lot easier to handle.

For those with a sensitive gag reflex, the QuickShot can help you cover a lot more surface area with a lot less effort. Instead of massaging his shaft with your hands, slide the QuickShot up and down the lower part of his penis while your mouth and tongue go to work on the head! The mix of sensations will rock his world, and provide him with a totally blended foreplay experience.

Remember that the most important key to a killer blow job is enthusiasm — The more fun you’re having pleasuring your man, the more pleasure he is going to feel! And even if you can’t pull off the daring deepthroat, you still have the tools to blow your partner’s mind. Have fun!

This article was originally posted on as “How to Stop Your Gag Reflex During Oral” 

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