How to Master Mutual O’s

4c7cb96349e2ced2aff5d2883669ed43Let’s talk about orgasms, or lack thereof, as the case may be. The key ingredient for great sex generally centers around both parties leaving satisfied, yes? According to research published in the Journal of Sex & Martial Therapy (2006), women were about two and a half times more likely to feel sexually satisfied when they achieved orgasm. No surprise there. Unfortunately, this simple task becomes a little more difficult, thanks to something known as the orgasm gap.

As you may have noticed, there is a major inequality in the distribution of orgasms between the opposite sexes (not that we’re keeping count or anything). While women possess the gift of multiple orgasms, they are repeatedly getting lapped by their male counterparts, with men having orgasms up to three times more often. The reason for this lies in the orgasm gap: While men are able to reach completion within 5 or 6 minutes of sex, it takes the average woman about 20-30 to cross that orgasmic finish line.. Just not fair, is it?

Let’s not blame men too much, though. They’ve been biologically programmed over years of evolution to deposit their sperm as quickly as possible in an effort to spread their genes. However, while this might not put them entirely at fault, it sure doesn’t help women in the case of the missing orgasms. But don’t worry ladies, there’s definitely hope!

A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women in same-sex relationships were able to orgasm at a much higher rate, very close to that of heterosexual men. This suggests that, with a bit more communication and a little extra help, heterosexual couples can close the orgasm gap. Here are some of my favorite techniques to even the orgasm odds:

For Her:

1. Do Foreplay Your Way:

If you want to guarantee a solid orgasm or two, foreplay is an absolute necessity. While your partner can give it his best effort, it’s really up to you to show him the ropes and help yourself get nice and ready for the main event.

This is perfect opportunity to bring in your favorite sex toy.. You know, the one that never lets you down! I personally love the discreet, yet powerful, MiMi by Je Joue. It fits comfortably in the palm of your hand and six levels of surprisingly strong vibrations to help you get there faster.

 2. Pick Your Positions:

If your guy has it his way, he is going to select the position that feels best for him, most likely leading to power thrusts and a quick finish. Instead, pick a position that feels best for you and allows you more control of the speed and range of motion. Woman-on-top is great for this reason. It puts you in control, so you can move at a pace that is pleasurable for you, while also allowing for some direct clitoral stimulation.

3. Press Your Buttons

Speaking of the clitoris – how can this little button be  so powerful and yet so often overlooked? With somewhere around 8,000 nerve endings packed into such a tiny space, it’s no surprise that the majority of women require clitoral attention to reach the big O. Unfortunately, the majority of sexual positions leave the C button out of the fun, so it’s your responsibility to bring it in somehow.

Remember the MiMi? No matter what position you end up in, cup that powerful little vibrator against your clitoris for a turbo boost of pleasure.


For Men:

1. Learn How to Arouse Her

Sometimes to solve a mystery, you have to do a little field research, so now is the time to take the focus off of your penis (who is pretty much guaranteed a good time) and find out what makes her tick. Mutual masturbation is a great way to learn how your partner likes to be touched. Have your partner sit across from you on the bed and start to pleasure herself, while you take mental notes… While also enjoying the view.

This way, when it comes time for you to help her meet you at the finish line, you’ll know just how to do it.

2. Slow It Down, or Take a Break

When in the throes of passion, it may be your natural instinct to start hammering away like you’re tenderizing a steak. Trust me, she is already tender. One should never underestimate the power of slow, sensual sex. You will last longer and will have a much better chance of making her orgasm.

If all else fails and you get too excited, don’t be afraid to take a quick break. You can tend to her manually or orally while you regain composure, and then ease back into intercourse when you’re ready.

3. Delayed (Gratification) Spray

Science has come along way since the pinching method, or thinking about your great aunt Jerry’s mole hair. There’s now an over-the-counter product that can help you extend your love-making session without taking away any of the pleasure. It’s called Promescent, and it is the only FDA-approved delay spray that helps you close the orgasm gap without transferring to your partner. That way, you’ll have plenty of time to provide her with a much-deserved orgasm (or two) and ensure that she will be coming back for more.

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