“I think about girls when I’m having sex with my boyfriend”

Dear Emily,

When I’m having sex with my boyfriend  I think about girls to turn me on. Only then do I have an orgasm. I know I don’t like girls but I feel awkward. What’s your opinion on this?



Dear Laura,

Fantasizing about women doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to be with women, in fact all it means is that fantasizing about women turns you on: it’s that simple.  I’m here to tell you that it isn’t as straightforward as liking or not liking a certain gender. In fact, most people fall somewhere on a sexual continuum between homosexual and heterosexual. Alfred Kinsey’s Scale demonstrates that sexual preference isn’t as simple as straight or gay. The numbers 1-6 represent the different categories of sexual orientation people ascribe to according to Kinsey.

Number Rankings on the Kinsey Scale

0 – Exclusively heterosexual
1 – Predominantly heterosexual
2 – Mostly heterosexual
3 – Bisexual, equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 – Mostly homosexual
5 – Predominantly homosexual
6 – Exclusively homosexual

At the very least the Kinsey Scale emphasizes that our sexuality isn’t set in stone. Sexual orientation and preferences is something to be explored and discovered.

Accept the fact that you have amazing fantasies that enhance your sex life rather than worrying what it may mean about your sexual orientation. When you let the awkward feelings fall away, you’ll have more room to enjoy your vibrant sex life.



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