Masturbation Conversations to have today!

Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán from Pexels

As we continue ringing in this year’s Masturbation May, it’s about time we address how our favorite activity can lead to an elephant in the room, and why it doesn’t deserve that.

Although we often think of masturbation as a solo act, it can be anything but!

It provides an exceptional escape from the hoopla of partner sex and comes with an arsenal of awesome health benefits to boot.


What some people don’t realize is the benefit it can bring to any couple’s shared sex life as well.

Of course, the only caveat is, it’s something you and your partner have to talk about first. Which like a lot of sex talks, can sometimes be  easier said than done.

So in order to get yourselves on the train of self-pleasing elation together, here are a few pointers as to why you should continue rubbing one out, and all the right conversations to have about it.

Covering The Basics

First and foremost, let’s be clear. It’s a hugely common misconception that once you’re coupled up, masturbation gets thrown out the window. Even though the two go hand in hand, they each still have their own unique benefits. Therefore, it’s not a matter of either/or, but how to strike the balance and get the best of both sexy worlds.


So when broaching the subject of self-love with your partner, it’s important to make sure those titillating tenets are addressed. Once that’s clear, you can then dive into the even sexier specifics.

Benefits of Masturbation

Regardless of one’s relationship status, masturbation is a fantastic way to explore how and where you like being touched. Along with experimenting with different toys, lubes and any other intimate products you’ve been curious to try.

Pleasure always begins with yourself, so if you don’t know what makes your own body feel good, how can you expect a partner to?

The more you masturbate, the more sexually articulate you also become. You grow more comfortable and attune to your own body as well as reading someone else’s. As a result, it helps develop your sensual intuition for being able to give and receive as much pleasure as possible.

Mutual Masturbation

But in addition to talking the self-pleasure talk, you can show the perks to your partner too. Suggest trying some mutual masturbation, which has major benefits of its own.

Whether it’s simultaneous or one at a time, masturbating in front of one another gives your partner a first-hand guide to exactly how you like it done. They can see what you’re doing, where you’re doing it and can commit it to memory for the future. Plus, it gives everyone a tantalizing visual to enjoy.


Lucky for us all, the benefits don’t just stop there! Mutual masturbation can also take the pressure off of penetration to allow for more sensual exploration. It can be a great way to squeeze in more sexy time during the week when feeling pressed for time or energy. Also, it helps keep the lines of communication open by kickstarting discussions of what feels best before, after and even during your sexcapades.

Stripping The Stigma

With all of that said, it’s no secret that a lot of things in the world of sex come with a slew of stigmas in tow. Although we, fortunately, have the power to help eradicate some of that through the power of conversation.

Being afraid to bring something up out of fear or embarrassment reinforces the social shame that’s been tacked onto it. So the first step in making the topic of masturbation more approachable with a partner is being upfront about it. It’s totally normal to feel vulnerable or nervous when tackling the conversation about any sex act for the first time.


In this case, it can be especially tough to overcome the association of self-pleasure with shame and/or secrecy. However, there’s a laundry list of reasons as to how masturbation can benefit a relationship, so incorporating those reminders into your conversations can show your beau why there’s no reason to be skeptical.

Masturbation conversations reinforce the many benefits of masturbation. That it’s a great way to release sexual tension. Help grow more comfortable in front of one another. Incorporate even more orgasms into your daily life,  what’s not to love.

We can each do our own part to strip away the negative stigma and simply embrace all the pleasure perks. So get talking today!


Alex Anderson is an LA-based lifestyle designer proactively raging against the cultural grain. By day she works in television production, and by night enjoys writing, sewing and seeking guidance from the stars. She also finally has an all black kitty named “Cher.” You can follow her website and on Instagram!
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