Gym Sex

Dear Emily,

I have an open marriage and my husband allows me to sleep with other men. I now have my eye on a seemingly unattainable drop dead gorgeous, wonderfully fit guy from my crossfit classes. I can’t help but fantasize about tracing the contours of his abs with my tongue when he takes off his shirt during our workouts.

Here is the problem: he is rather religious and he knows I’m married. I’m also terrible at flirting and although I think there is a mutual attraction because he showed interest before he realized I was married. I have given him no indication that it would be ok to flirt or hit on me, a married woman. I would love to somehow hint to him that I’m interested but I don’t know what to say or do. Furthermore crossfit is my life and I am afraid of being turned down by him which would be embarrassing and make work outs with him unbearable.

Please help, I would love to know your thoughts on this. How do I subtly tell this man that yes I’m married but I’m also interested?



Dear Debbie,

This is a tough situation because not only does he have firm abs, but also has some firm beliefs about marriage and fidelity. Or at least I’m guessing since he’s religious. It’s difficult for some people to morally accept and understand open-marriages, especially if their religious beliefs don’t support alternative types of relationships. So try to work out your sexual frustration during your crossfit workout!

On the flip side, just because he is religious, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not open to your open marriage. Why not ask him for coffee after the workout? Be honest, tell him you find him attractive, and that you’re in an alternative relationship that can allow you both to have some fun together. Then stop talking. See what he says.

No matter the outcome, it can be fun to have a fantasy about an unobtainable man, even if what you really want to do is throw down your jump rope and get it on in the middle of the gym floor.

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