Orgasm Orientation: Your Guide to the Female “O”

f83d23fc-a144-4277-bc71-fa84937753deWith masturbation month coming up fast (yes, this is the first of many masturbation puns), I think it’s about time we talk about orgasms.

Orgasms are, in my personal opinion, one of the greatest gifts you can give. They don’t cost anything, they’re calorie-free and they’re a hell of a lot cheaper than a Valium prescription.

We all know the many benefits that regular O’s can bring us: They can boost your mood, help combat stress and lower blood pressure, help you get to sleep, strengthen your immune system, give your skin that “just O’d” glow, reduce your headaches and, some believe, even improve your heart health. That pretty much makes orgasms just as healthy than kale… Take that, vegans!

But unlike kale—or Valium, for that matter—orgasms are not quite as accessible as we’d like them to be. In fact, for many women, they can be downright elusive.

Sure, we all have that friend who has been enjoying effortless orgasms since middle school (equestrian camp doesn’t sound so boring now, does it?) but the fact of the matter remains: Orgasms are often hard to come by. See, I told you there’d be more!

There are a lot of factors that go into the female orgasm, from mindset to foreplay to timing, and having a partner who knows his way around the female anatomy sure doesn’t hurt. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret here: The only person truly responsible for your orgasm… Is you.

If you’re feeling frustrated about a shortage of O’s in your sex life, it’s up to you to turn things around. Take the time to get familiar with your lady parts and learn the lay of the land, to expand your knowledge of your body and what makes it tick.

Consider this your masturbatory Manifest Destiny—If you explore it, you WILL come.

The first pleasure point you will most likely encounter will be your clitoris, a button-like bundle of nerve endings that is located just above your vaginal opening and is sensitive to the touch. This is where most women begin their journey, but don’t stop there. The clitoris is just Chapter 1 in your “Orgasm Orientation”; there are actually 4 main types of orgasms that women can experience.

I know what you’re thinking… FOUR types of orgasms? I’m just trying to have one! But trust me when I say that orgasms are a lot like Pokemon: Once you’ve had one, you’re going to want to catch em’ all.

The Clitoral Orgasm

With more than 8,000 nerve endings in such a tiny surface area, it’s no surprise that the clitoris is the most accessible way for women to reach the Big O. Start by taking your pointer and middle finger and placing them on the clitoris and clitoral hood (the skin right above the visible part of the clitoris). Try moving your fingers slowly in circular motion, experimenting with different pressure and strokes until you find what feels best for you. Then maintain a steady rhythm until you reach that delicious climax!

Despite being one of the most common ways for women to orgasm, the majority of sex positions often leave the clitoris completely out of play. Now that you know how to find it and pleasure it, you can easily apply your newfound knowledge during sex with a partner. Look for sex positions like woman-on-top or missionary that provide direct stimulation to your little love button. You can also massage it yourself using your hand or a handheld vibrator (the Mimi by Je Joue is a great fit for this!) during positions like doggystyle.

The Vaginal (G-Spot) Orgasm

Some people consider it the holy grail of female sexual pleasure, while others question its very existence. However, as those who have experienced the elusive G-Spot orgasm will tell you, it is well worth the search! In truth, the G-spot is a lot like that hole-in-the-wall shop on a bustling downtown boulevard—You could pass by it 1,000 times and never know it’s there. The only way you’ll find it is if you know exactly what you’re looking for.

While the exact location varies from woman to woman, the G-spot generally resides about 2 inches inside your lady tunnel on the topside of the vagina wall. The easiest way to find it is by inserting two fingers into your vagina with palms facing up and making a come hither motion. You will know it by it’s bumpy walnut-like texture, and it’s actually easier to feel when you’re already aroused. Once you’ve found it, use that same come-hither motion to massage it with your fingertips. If it starts to feel like you have to pee, don’t worry—that just means it’s working!

Having trouble reaching it on your own? Get a little help with an insertable vibrator that’s especially designed to find and pleasure your G-spot, like the We-Vibe Rave! Learn how it works in this video.

The Blended Orgasm

Women by nature are multi-taskers, and I like to think that the blended orgasm is their grand reward. Blended O’s occur as a direct result of simultaneous clitoral and G-spot stimulation, and experts say that it is the most intense and powerful type of climax that a woman can experience. Basically, you’ll see stars… And planets… And whatever we’re calling Pluto these days.

A blended orgasm can be achieved a number of ways, but it’s best to always start with what you know: clitoral stimulation. As I mentioned earlier, the G-spot is much easier to find when you’re already aroused, so it may help to knock out a clitoral orgasm before you bring your G-berry into the mix. For solo exploration, a vibrator like the Vibratex Dahlia is your best bet for blended pleasure—The smooth rotating shaft swirls against your G-spot while the butterfly-shaped appendage flutters against your clitoris for double the stimulation!

Multiple Orgasms—The Mecca

One of the best things about the female orgasm is that, much like Marvel action flicks, they often come in multiples. For many women, knocking out multiple O’s may seem like a pipe dream, right up there with world peace and a lazy night in with Ryan Gosling. But what if I told you that all women can, in fact, reach the multiple orgasm mecca?

Unlike our male counterparts, women are not slowed down by a refractory period. Still, many ladies do feel the need to pull back after their first orgasm due to increased sensitivity. This is where indirect stimulation comes into play! After you’ve knocked out your first clitoral O, take a break from directly massaging the clitoris and turn your attention to the surrounding area, which is also very sensitive to touch. After thirty seconds or so, you’re good to go for round two… And three… Four. Maybe even five!

Sure, one day you’ll have to get back to work. Until then, you’re free to ride those pleasure waves for as long as your lady parts desire.

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