Say Hello to My Little Friend
So you did it! You’re in a relationship and having regular sex- with a human. But now you’re facing the the age-old dilemma of what to do with the non-human companion, your vibrator, which up until now has been the sole producer of your orgasms.
Listen up ladies: Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to dump your vibrator. An Indiana University study found that vibrator use is way more common that you think: 53% of women and 45% of men said they had used a vibrator at some point in their life. Of those buzz-friendly respondents, 81% of the women and a whopping 91% of the men reported having used them WITH their partner!
So instead of keeping your vibrator under wraps with the rest of your secret single behaviors (like eating meals standing in front of the refrigerator or binge-watching Law and Order: SVU), it’s time to bring your two sex worlds together.
I was recently faced with this challenge. I’ve been having regular, very successful sex with one person. However, I still felt a special tie to the battery-operated buddy that had been making my toes curl through those long lonely winters.
Even though my boyfriend asked me multiple times about my masturbation habits and use of sex toys, I was still hesitant. My responses to him were very vague, because I wasn’t ready to share that side of myself. Until that fateful day when a weird sound led him to my Magic Bullet Vibrator, buzzing away in my goodie drawer. My secret was out.
I had two choices: snatch it away and lie about it being a gag gift, OR just go with it. Option two sounded like a lot less work so I came clean and was shocked to be met met with a level of enthusiasm usually reserved for Superbowl Sunday.
Bringing a sex toy into your relationship may sound intimidating, but here are a few reasons why it’s worth it:
1. The Kink Factor
Your sex life might be awesome already but the novelty of introducing a new element will increase sexual desire and make things more exciting. You know when you get a new outfit or a buy a new beauty product, and you can’t wait to try it out? After making his discovery, my boyfriend will send me flirty texts like, “Can we play with your “other” boyfriend tonight?” The presence of a vibrator turns our regular sex session into an even sexier event.
2. Open Minds and Open Beds
Adding something new to your sex life opens the door to more conversations about what you both want and how you can both get it (and get off.) Once my boyfriend discovered that I not only masturbated, but had graduated from clumsy fingers to tiny tools, he was eager to find out what other naughty things I might want to try. It was much easier for us to talk about other ways we could experiment because we were more comfortable with each other, and as a result, our sex life was more playful.
3. Closing The Gap
It’s no secret that women take significantly longer than men to orgasm. Researchers have a slew of different explanations for this, but it doesn’t change the fact that it takes women about 15-20 minutes to orgasm, while men take about 5-6 minutes. True, we have been gifted with ability to have multiple orgasms – but who wants to ride the roller coaster 3 or 4 times if the line is that long? When you bring a sex toy into the mix, a whole new world of pleasure opens up. He’ll want to see what this toy can do, and how long it can do it. For you, this means the possibility of multiple orgasms before the main event even starts.
This is one of the best reasons YOU need to set this meet-and-greet into action: the orgasms. Remember that part about multiple orgasms? This is where that God-given blessing comes into play. Only about 30% of women are able to reach orgasm through intercourse alone. A vibrator can provide that extra clitoral stimulation to bring your pleasure to new heights. Try experimenting with a vibrator that targets your G-Spot, and let him steer, making it a sexy exploration for two.
5. Yours, Mine and Ours
One final note about toys: they’re not just for HER pleasure. You can buy toys that are for him and for couples. Pick out some toys together! Plus, you’ll have the excitement of knowing whatever you choose will get to put to good use.
Sex toys, or any sex-cessories ,can serve as a spicy addition to your already satisfying sex life, or can open up your relationship up to new possibilities.
You may choose to talk to your guy first before busting out your toy mid-coitus. Some guys are still intimidated by toys and will feel like they’re not pleasing you. Just let him know that the toy is an addition to his incredible skills in the sack rather than a replacement. Make it playful and exciting and I promise his sense of adventure will follow… right toward your goodie drawer!
Ready to find your new sex toy for two? Use Coupon Code GVEMILY20 for 20% off your next purchase at GoodVibes!
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