Seriously Bad Sex Advice

badsexadvice

badsexadviceHow many times have you received completely unsolicited advice on something? Or better yet, advice from someone who swears by their tips as if they are some sort of expert (even when they have no clout)?

Hey, maybe it wasn’t unsolicited; maybe you actually asked for it, or read it on the always accurate Internet. Either way, sometimes the information we receive is… questionable.  

So many tips and tricks that circulate the public spectrum have somehow become “fact” (despite the lack of evidentiary support), turning into ‘public knowledge.’ The reality is, not every piece of “advice” we’re given is true. In fact, sometimes it’s completely inaccurate, totally one-sided, and just seriously bad. The worst part? The advice that people seem to swear by the most surrounds the ever popular topic of sex.

Everyone wants to think they are an expert in the department, but if that were really the case, the Sex With Emily inbox wouldn’t be overflowing everyday.

It’s okay not to be an expert (that’s what Emily’s here for), but it’s not okay to throw out “information” that ultimately gives people the wrong ideas about sex. Some of this advice you may have heard, some of it might make you say “wtf, who would believe this,” and some may give you a good laugh.

Here is some seriously bad sex advice that you should never follow…

Steam Me Up, Vagina

vaginal-steaming-anaThe Bad Advice:

“Regularly have a vaginal steaming. It’s like a douche, but helps you feel refreshed, clean, and balances your female hormones. You sit on a small, throne-like chair and infrared and mugwort steam is shot into your uterus.”

Why It’s Bad:

Spa goers know how relaxing and cleansing a nice steam or sauna can be for the body. It’s detoxifying, it helps with your blood flow, and it feels great! But all of this heat is not directed right at your vagina, and you don’t see anyone trying to collect it there, either.

Although there are spas dedicated to vaginal steaming, blasting it into your vaginal area does not help you. Gynecologists say that mugwort, herbal, or infrared steam has no scientific relation to reproductive hormone balance, depression, or curing infertility. Plus, unless you’re sticking a tube or baster-like object far up your vagina (please don’t), nothing is getting into your uterus. So basically, you could be screwing with your natural ph balance and straight up burn your precious lady parts. Like, actually burn. Ouch.

 

Lube — Who Needs It?

lubeThe Bad Advice:

“Lube is unnecessary. If you’re turning your lady on, she’ll create all the wetness you need. If she doesn’t, you’re not arousing her or getting her in the mood enough. If you need lube, you’re just being lazy.” 

Why It’s Bad:

First of all, lube is AMAZING. It makes everything better during sex. Why do you think Emily’s goal is to have lube on every nightstand? Secondly, as a woman who doesn’t always achieve maximum wetness herself, it is definitely false that a woman’s arousal correlates to how wet she is.

Of course, when someone is turned on, they usually start to moisten, but it’s not always the case. It’s embarrassing for the woman who feels like she’ll forever be as dry as the desert, and totally nerve-racking for her partner who probably feels like a failure. This outdated ideology on sex is what keeps lube at a taboo standing, and makes men and women feel inadequate if neither can create a vaginal slip ‘n’ slide on their own. So ditch your pride, or any misconceptions you have about lube, and load up on System JO like it’s going out of style. Your vagina, and your partner, will thank you. 

 

Jaded for Breakfast?

you-put-it-whereThe Bad Advice:

“Stick a jade egg in your vagina and sleep with it inside. It helps with overall wellness, your inner chi, kegel muscles, orgasms, and your energy.”

Why It’s Bad:

Jade eggs actually have a porous material, meaning the stones themselves have microscopic crevices that bacteria can easily use as their new home, which means you could be introducing these bacteria into your vagina. Also, depending on the size of these puppies, it could potentially get stuck and you could scratch your vaginal walls trying to get it out. Plus, gynecologists advise against leaving a weighted item inserted all night long because it overworks your pelvic floor muscles.

In order to strengthen these muscles, there needs to be a pattern of contracting and relaxing, otherwise you’re only exhausting your poor vagina. If you’re serious about strengthening your vagina, there are plenty of products out there that are created to help you do just that! FT London’s Gballs are body-safe Kegel weights that train and strengthen your PC muscles over time, and even connect to a smartphone app to train your progress. Or, for a more hands-off approach, the Intensity by Pour Moi is an insertable device actually does your Kegel exercises for you—in addition to providing you with an orgasm or two. 

Bottom line: Don’t go sticking just anything up your lady parts. You love your vagina, don’t you? Don’t treat it badly.   

 

Headphones In

headphonesThe Bad Advice:

“It’s totally okay to go up and talk to a woman that is wearing headphones and ask her out. You just have to do it with confidence. Wave a hand in front of her face to get her attention. If she seems uninterested, don’t give up! Most women will like the fact that you’re taking initiative and are really only testing your confidence level.” 

Why It’s Bad:

Although this advice was directed at straight males, this can apply to anyone that wants to ask anyone wearing headphones on a date. Do you ever wonder why people walk around with headphones in? It’s a crazy mystery that might take years of detective training to crack, but it may just be because they don’t want to be bothered. It’s a stretch, I know, but think about why you would walk around with headphones in.

Not only is it completely rude to wave your hand in someone’s face like they owe you a conversation, it’s ridiculous to continue trying to talk to someone who has shown no interest in interacting with you. You’ve already disrupted their attempts to get from point A to point B in solus, and now you won’t let them continue on with their day because you just had to talk to them and ask them out. WHY ON EARTH WOULD THIS PERSON WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU AFTER ALL OF THAT? Obviously, there are going to be exceptions to this. Some people will pull their headphones out and gladly speak with you, but if they keep the headphones in, it’s time to leave it be.

 

No Pubes, No Problems

shavingThe Bad Advice:

“Tell your partner to get a full bikini wax. Not for you, but for them of course! Everything feels better when there’s no hair down there.”

Why It’s Bad:

Your partner’s pubic hair is in the complete control of… you guessed it: your partner. If they don’t want to be completely bald in their nether regions, they do not have to be. If they do like to go brazilian, that’s fine too. The amount of hair has no correlation to the amount of pleasure they can achieve; there is no way for you to know how they will feel.

This goes back to yet another outdated way of thinking that will yet again make your partner feel like there is something wrong with pubic hair, or that they aren’t  living up to what’s expected of their genitals. You wouldn’t tell someone to shave their head so that the air will feel better on their scalp, right? We need to stop telling people what they need to do with their bodies. Really, stop.

*  *  *

These are just a few instances of seriously bad advice being thrown around willy nilly. Unfortunately, there’s a lot more where that came from. You don’t have to be a skeptic, but if something sounds kind of strange, or only one person is vouching for it, there’s a large possibility it’s a load of crap.

When you’re getting advice, whether it be unsolicited or asked for, it may be best to do some research and get a second opinion. And if you’re looking for actual love and sex advice? Well, you’re already in the right place.

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Discussion about this post

  1. THANK YOU for mythbusting vaginal steaming! It’s like the douching of the new millennium.

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