4 Easy Ways to Explore Sex Magic

magic blog sex with emily

sex magic blog sex with emilyThe term ‘sex magic’ is slowly making its way into the mainstream.

But what is it, and is it safe and fun? 

Today we are going to explore four ways that you can celebrate and explore sex magic.

Discover some fun, meaningful, and sexy activities, you can enjoy to deepen your sexual relationship with yourself, and perhaps even enrich your life. 


Acknowledging Abundance

I invite you to spend some time reflecting and even journaling on some of the aspects of your life that you are most grateful for this year, especially in your sex life. This is also a beautiful practice to include your loved one in, so try a little journaling session together, and share your reflections with each other.

If you’d like to incorporate these principles into your sex life together, make a list of all the things you are grateful for about your partner’s sensuality, and sneak it into their pocket or lunch bag as a lovely treat (that’s calorie-free).  


Delightful Duality

One of my favorite ways to honor duality is to burn a white and black candle next to each other, and enjoy the melting and melding of the opposing shades. There is immense duality in all aspects of our lives, and it is so important to be aware of, and honor it.

If you’d like to incorporate these aspects more sensually, you’re in luck! If there is some duality in your sexual energies, try exploring them more overtly. For example, if one partner is more submissive than the other, check out my Dominance/submission article for some great ideas. Remember, just because you may be more assertive and alpha in other areas of your life, doesn’t mean you have to be in the bedroom. Many people who are dominant in their ‘regular’ lives really enjoy embracing the duality of power in the bedroom by being submissive. There are no rules here, as long as you keep it risk-aware and consensual.

Of course, now that I mentioned candles, I can’t move on to the next aspect without suggesting some wax play! Try exploring some wax play with two differently colored candles and enjoy the beautiful contrast and duality on your partner, or on your own skin. When engaging in wax play, it’s very important to use candles designed specifically for that purpose in order to avoid causing burns and skin damage. Here are some that have great contrast, and are body-safe.


Releasing Rituals

Sex magic is a beautiful method for releasing that which no longer serves us. The Full Moon is the ideal time for releasing rituals, but chose whatever time calls the most to you.

Write down on a piece of paper a list of aspects in your life or of yourself, that you’d like to let go of. Perhaps you are tired of smoking cigarettes, or avoiding the gym. Maybe you’d like to face some internal fears or be more present and engaged in your relationships. Particularly contemplate if you have any sexual shame or baggage you’d like to release, and add that to your list.

Now comes the fun part – it’s time to burn it! Place your list in a fireplace or cast iron pot, anywhere fire safe, and make sure you have some water or a fire extinguisher handy, just in case. Use a match or candle to light your list on fire, saying out loud or in your head; “I release what no longer honors me, what no longer serves my higher purpose. With love, I release.”


Getting Even Sexier

Sex Magic involves harnessing your sexual power to achieve your personal goals. During orgasm, there is a lot of energy released, and sex magic channels that energy into a specific area or focus in your life. It can be practiced with a partner or solo, but I usually recommend that newcomers to sex magic begin by themselves.

There are many beautiful ways you can utilize your energy during masturbation or partnered sex for some sex magic.

First, you need to set your intention for your sex magic session. For this exercise, I’d recommend choosing some duality by holding both something you’d like to release, as well as a new energy or aspect you’d like to embrace. Next, it’s time to craft a mantra for it. For example, you may want to release some negative self-beliefs and embrace feeling more confident during sex.

A beautiful mantra for that could be, “I allow all sexual shame to melt away, and I fully embrace my sensuality.”

Next, set the mood. Light some candles, play some atmospheric music, relax with a bath or a self-massage with some scented oils first. This is time for you, so really indulge in it, and choose what works best for you. Then, it’s time to masturbate. Some people find they are able to hold their mantra in their head during the build-up, and some aren’t. I strongly recommend writing your mantra down on a piece of paper, and placing it on your chest. We can all get a little fuzzy brained when getting down with ourselves.

If you’re able to focus on your mantra while masturbating please do so. However, if you find this challenging, just enjoy your self-pleasure time in whatever way you please. As you approach climax, state your mantra out loud. Allow the powerful energy of your orgasm to carry it into the universe.


If you enjoyed these tips, check out www.sexmagicpodcast.com for more wonderful sex magic tips and advice!


Isabella Frappier is an Australian ex-pat living in LA, who swapped gumtrees for palm trees. She’s a writer and a holistic Sexuality Doula, who specializes in body literacy, sexual sovereignty, and BDSM.
She is also a host on the popular new Sex Magic Podcast. When she’s not busy championing her sex positive agenda, she—oh wait—she’s always busy doing that. Follow her adventures on Instagram.
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