Sexy Seances Send Psychic To Slammer

When the freshly-jailed psychic Karl Lang used the promise of communicating with the dead as a means to getting his clients naked and performing sexy dances, he not only highlighted the importance of exercising rational thought as a defense against preposterous charlatans, but he invoked the specter (excuse the pun) of using more macabre elements to spice up one’s love life. Strip Ouija anyone?

Be honest, what gets your heart racing more than absolute, mortal fear? If you could only just capture that helpless frustration and anxiety and translate it into passion, your life between the sheets would benefit infinitely. Thankfully, many dark, sensual spirits in the past have capitalized on this connection, so jumping into the spooky sex scene shouldn’t be too, well, terrifying.

Unless you actually have been dead for the past five years, you know that the entire civilized world is currently gorging on the titillating subtexts of vampires – from their eternal youth and sexual prowess, to their exciting nightlife and impeccable dental hygiene, what’s not to like? Even the kinky mom favorite 50 Shades of Grey started out as unusually promising Twilight fan fiction. Furthering the importance of the undead, zombies are also ubiquitous in films and TV, mindlessly mirroring our subconscious desires with their insatiable, primal drive for flesh. Now those popular choices are all well and good to indulge in, but at Sex With Emily we like to stretch our imaginations. So we ask you to consider the carnal possibilities of the poltergeist – your classic friendly, sexy ghost.

Think about it: being a ghost is among the sweeter gigs that a sentient being can land. Whether it’s the ability to perpetually frighten one’s enemies, or watching naked people do everything that naked people do, all day long, the life of a ghost is charmingly carefree and voyeuristic. So the next time you feel like dressing up for your lover, don’t settle for the lustful cop or horny tax accountant fantasy like usual – go for a more ghoulish kind of lovemaking.

The problem is, there’s an absolute dearth of sexy ghost outfits online, apart from these gems:

And to be fair, we’re being very generous with our use of the word ‘gem’. But hey, Halloween is just around the corner, so if you’ve got any good, scary/sexy outfits lined up, send them our way – you might just find yourself scoring a treat from one of our sponsors!

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