Supporting Women, From Cradle to Grave
It’s hard to pinpoint the precise moment when I realized that my life’s path was to become a sexual activist and pleasure mentor.
It could have been during my first menstruation. I was shocked by the lack of ritual, female community support, and sacred communication around it. Maybe it was during my adolescence, as I helped raise children that weren’t my own.
I learned how to be present and appreciative while witnessing a child in awe of a flower blooming; how to be patient and enjoy the journey while we watched leaves float lazily down a river. I learned how to relax my control. How to just hold space while I held sticky hands and wiped tear-stained cheeks, as we nursed a bird through to the afterlife.
Perhaps, it was during the times that I have been privileged enough to be a birth support as a doula. I have looked into the eyes of women reaching deeper into their souls than they ever had before. I’ve seen them find a strength there that I couldn’t have imagined.
I was in awe of their raw beauty and power.
Yet, I have also watched nurses lie directly to laboring women’s faces about what was in their intravenous drips. I have stared in shock as doctors have touched a pregnant woman’s vulva without so much as a may I? I have glimpsed the cavernous divide between the magical power of women, and the way we are often made to feel helpless and uninformed. Powerless to make educated decisions around our own bodies, as we aren’t given the full breadth of information.
Most likely though, I started my journey to becoming a pleasure mentor during a routine gynecological check up. My doctor fell quiet for several moments, staring at the ultrasound screen. Sound drained from the room as I heard her say in a tinny voice “your ovaries are covered in cysts.”
After the shock wore off, I asked her what I could do, feeling confident that she would have the answers. She didn’t. She gave me a hand-out for PCOS and left the room. Then she tossed a “stay on birth control” over her shoulder as she left me alone.
I know I am not the only woman who has felt completely alone in a doctor’s office.
I have a deep respect for all medical providers, and understand that they can’t do it all. A medical provider needs to do their job – their wonderfully skilled and scientific job. And they often do not have the time to provide spiritual care and holistic support.
Like with most good things in life, a strong circle of support is where you can find the most love and strength, and I was determined to create that for others. I wanted to educate and empower women to understand their bodies as deeply as possible – to speak the language of their wombs. To find their feminine power, and to have holistic support when they needed it.
The Wellness Journey
My journey involved years of research, formal and informal training, not only reading everything I could about holistic wellness and ancient tantric teachings, but living these practices, too. I wanted to change the landscape of sexual wellness, to move mountains. Instead, I had to learn how to be a stream. How to draw otherworldly intuition from the sky like rain, flowing into the river of life, and carve through the rocks of the mountain, gentle and slow. There is immense power in softness. In love and support. In resisting the status quo when you desire something more, and creating the change you want to see in the world.
My first client had no relationship with pleasure anatomy, and referred to her vulva as her vagina. Effectively erasing all the parts that bring us that juicy pleasure. That doesn’t surprise me anymore – now it excites me. I feel so blessed to be able to connect women with their true inner magic – their feminine power.
As a pleasure mentor, I work with my clients to help demystify the many cycles of life, and of the sexual continuum. Whether they have come to me for help connecting with their body, understanding their pleasure, or even exploring a new kink, I am there to help.
From cradle to grave, I support women.
I deeply and actively listen to each client, and use a combination of relevant and empowering education, journal prompts, manifestations and visualizations, sensual self-portraiture, intuitive insights, meditations, somatic explorations, embodiment practices, and other actionable tools and techniques.
Recently, I had the pleasure of mentoring a woman in her forties who was concerned about her relationship to her pleasure. I helped provide her with the advice, perspectives, and tools that helped her to feel much calmer and more informed about her body and sexual expression. I supported her with some actionable techniques she could use to deepen her body literacy and claim her sexual sovereignty. She left our sessions feeling hopeful and empowered, and the ongoing experience of supporting her has been such a beautiful honor.
The Journey Continues
I feel blessed to have been able to witness the impact my work has had on the lives of others. To watch mothers handling their children with comfort and grace, to see women advocating for their pleasure, and to witness wonderful physical and mental transformations.
If you were wondering about my cysts, I’m happy to say that I wished them goodbye with loving compassion. The look on my doctors face during the follow up as she saw clear ovaries on the ultrasound screen was priceless. However, the real victory for me was learning to understand and listen to my body.
I aim to support my clients on their journey to a deeper relationship with their bodies, hearts, and minds. To integrate their bodies rhythms into their lives and harness their feminine power. I believe that through body literacy education we can achieve body sovereignty, the state of having full understanding and agency of our bodies.
What empowers some does not empower all, and one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through my work is to hold space. To listen with the intent to deeply understand, not just to respond. There is so much beauty in being deeply listened to, and it is often through that relationship that we remember our own power. Our innate understanding of our bodies and how to heal.
You have the answers, I simply help you remember.
Isabella Frappier is a sexual activist and pleasure mentor focused on body literacy and sexual sovereignty. Frappier works with clients in one-on-one video sessions and in group workshops to help them embrace their sexuality, incorporating aspects of astrology, sex magic, and feminist BDSM into her work. She is also a host of the Sex Magic Podcast.