I don’t want to ruin my chances of finding something serious.
How soon is too soon to have sex with someone you’re into? Is there a magic number? You don’t want to come off eager, but you don’t want the connection to fizzle out either.
Every relationship is different, and your attraction level will vary from person to person. Sometimes you want to jump their bones on the first date, and sometimes you need to feel it out for a little longer. There’s no right answer when it comes to choosing the perfect time to consummate.
In this video, I lead long time listener Debbie to the best way to choose the time that’s right for her. Sometimes all you need is a little reminder of what’s most important when it comes to sleeping with someone new.
Q: I’ve been with my boyfriend for around 8 months and have still never had a REAL orgasm during sex. And as if this isn’t bad enough, my partner has no idea, because I’ve gotten into the habit of faking it. I know, it’s terrible!
Did my favorite sex toy make me unable to orgasm?
This is a question I frequently get asked, mostly from women who frequent one high-powered sex toy and worry about it de-sensitizing their lady parts.
Many of us have been there. We find a toy that we love, that nails it every damn time, and give it the starring role in our solo sex life. But then, over time, the orgasms stop coming, and the worrying begins. Maybe the toy was TOO good at it’s job? Maybe it’s ruined me for all other sex toys? Why has my Magic Wand forsaken me? Continue Reading
Q: Hi Emily!
I’m 24 and my boyfriend is 42, and lately we have been having problems with his—as he calls it—“retroactive jealousy”. Though I am much younger than him, I’ve had many more lovers than he has. As a result, he’s always bringing up my past experiences and comparing them to his own. He constantly bombards me with questions and asks me to recall memories that I would rather not think about. Is it okay that he’s asking me to divulge my sexual history to him? What good could possibly come of it? How do I help him understand that my past has nothing to do with our present?
I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and up until a month ago, I thought we were the perfect couple. Then I found out he cheated on me last year. It was a one-time thing with a woman he used to work with, and he swears that they didn’t keep in touch afterward. He confessed this all to me, and I got the sense that it had really been eating him up inside — for a good reason, clearly.
It goes without saying that I’m completely heartbroken, but I feel even more destroyed at the thought of ending the relationship. I do love him so much, and I know he’ll do anything to re-build my trust… I’m just not sure if love is enough to heal what’s been broken. So my question is, what now? Do I stay with him and try to work it out? Or should I cut my losses and make a clean break? Can a relationship actually survive cheating? And if so… How?
Betrayed and Confused
I have a problem with masturbation — I can’t do it.
It’s not that I’m a prude about masturbation. Believe me, I have tried time and time again! I know what I’m supposed to do and I get how to do it, I’ve masturbated in front of a partner before and it was GREAT. But when it’s me by myself, I just can’t seem to get into it or even get to a place where it feels good. Since I’m doing the actual touching part the right way, I know it has to be something about my mindset. What am I doing wrong?
How can I help myself get in the mood for masturbation?
Solo Sex Struggles
I LOVE pleasing my man, but I’ve found it really hard to make him orgasm when I give him any form of oral. I wouldn’t say I’m an expert or anything, but I have honestly never had this problem before. I’ve asked him what I can do to improve but I think he’s even more inexperienced than I am. I really want to surprise him with the best oral of his life! How can I give him a blow job that will blow his mind? Continue Reading
I recently started dating a guy (a great guy, actually!) and things are going really well. There’s only one problem… I’m afraid to have sex with him! We’ve been seeing each other for almost two months now and we still haven’t done the deed. It’s not that I’m not attracted to him or that I’m afraid he won’t respect me. The real reason is that I am pretty sure I’m bad in bed.
I’ve only been with two guys, and neither seemed to be that into the sex. One of them looked downright bored! I like this new guy a lot and would really like to wow him in the sack, but now I’m extremely self-conscious. What if we have sex and it’s terrible and he doesn’t want to date me anymore? I need help! How do I know if I’m terrible at sex? And more importantly, how can I fix it?
I have a concern about something that has been happening when my boyfriend and I have sex. When we are having a longer sex session (past 30 minutes) I’ve noticed that I tend to dry out, even though I was extremely wet a few minutes before. And what’s worse, it becomes extremely uncomfortable. Is it possible that I could run out of my own juices? I mean, I’m only 22! This has really been affecting my sex life, because I take a longer time to orgasm during intercourse, and my boyfriend usually takes a while also. Is this normal? What should I do?
Q: Dear Emily,
Thanks to you, I am now a woman with several sex toys. I have recently fallen in love with my Magic Wand vibrator, and it has totally changed things for me in that I can now not only orgasm, but have multiple orgasms! But now I’m wondering.. Is it bad that I only ever want to use my vibrator to masturbate? The things is, I’ve heard rumors about vibrators actually desensitizing the clitoris, and now I’m worried that I’m ruining my vagina! Is this true? Whenever I go back to using my hands, it takes SO long to get there and I’m not even sure if I’m climaxing. Has it already started? Am I addicted to my vibrator? Help!
Vibrator Obsessed, 22