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orgasm gap

slow-down-pixabay_0Dear Emily,

I have an issue I have yet to hear on your show. My wife of 19 years comes too quickly! (Yes, she actually orgasms and isn’t faking). It takes very little for her to reach climax and once she does, she is done. Me, on the other hand… I take a very long time. Obviously, this proves to be a problem as she comes first and is immediately done.

Because she comes so quickly, she is always in a rush to get me to finish. Once she is done she starts questioning me if I am done. Major turn off. She isn’t into too much foreplay and she doesn’t like giving oral sex (especially not to completion) so everything I have been taught falls apart completely. Is there anything you can suggest to make her last longer and be more into it? Thanks

Daniel, 52, Colorado

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Top view of playful young couple enjoying in bedAs a sex and relationship expert, I’ve advised millions of couples (and singles) who listen to my podcast hoping to enhance intimacy and improve their sex lives. If you have a question about a particular sexual issue or experience, I’m certain I’ve covered it. After a decade of doing my podcast, there is one topic that comes up over and over again: the dissatisfaction that occurs when one partner climaxes before the other.

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Dear Emily,

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and love him to bits. He’s great! The only thing that kinda gets me down is that he doesn’t last as long as he used to. He says that he’s just too turned on, which I guess I understand, but he doesn’t try to help me finish. What can I do to help him last longer? And how can I get him to understand that he should be helping ME orgasm too, not rolling over and passing out?

Thank you for your insight!
Miranda from Canada

Okay Miranda, this is a sensitive situation, and not entirely uncommon. Men’s stamina has a tendency to fluctuate over time, so I’m not concerned here—there are plenty of ways you can work together to help him last longer. What I’m more concerned about is the fact that he doesn’t seem to care about pleasing you first. Continue Reading

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I’m just going to put this out there — I have had quite a bit of mediocre sex.

No disrespect to my past partners, I certainly had a part in it as well. I expected them all to read my mind and KNOW what I wanted, without ever actually telling them what I wanted. And like many women out there, I gave epic orgasmic performances and handed out positive feedback to guys who didn’t even come close to earning it.

And then something wonderful happened. The sex started getting better! A lot of that had to do with the fact that I started to figure out what I liked in bed and became more comfortable asking for it. But there was also a shift in my partners’ bedroom attitudes that made a big difference. Whether I was choosing more considerate guys, or the guys I always flocked to had done some maturing, I can’t be sure. But all of a sudden, my partners genuinely cared about whether I was having a good time. And as a result, I WAS having a good time.  Continue Reading

4c7cb96349e2ced2aff5d2883669ed43Let’s talk about orgasms, or lack thereof, as the case may be. The key ingredient for great sex generally centers around both parties leaving satisfied, yes? According to research published in the Journal of Sex & Martial Therapy (2006), women were about two and a half times more likely to feel sexually satisfied when they achieved orgasm. No surprise there. Unfortunately, this simple task becomes a little more difficult, thanks to something known as the orgasm gap. Continue Reading

dcf8cfd4f5815941593061543c558aa7Ever wondered what the next generation of sexually active young adults are up to? What are they into? How are they getting busy? And most importantly, are they practicing safe sex?

You’re not the only one! The company that makes and manufactures Lifestyles and SKYN condoms conducted its annual sex survey for 2015, and this year they measured the bedroom habits and preferences of millennials. As this specific age group makes up 60% of the company’s buyer base, Lifestyles thought conducting the survey on millennials would provide insightful results. The results are both interesting and exciting, full of fun facts and promising information for the future, most notably in that females are quickly closing the orgasm gap like never before! You go, ladies.

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1So let’s be honest: Every man wants to believe that he is incredible in bed. You want that feeling of accomplishment, that gold star on your sexual resume, that hushed whisper between ex-lovers: “He was THE BEST I’ve ever had”. You want to know that when you roll yourself over for the classic post-sex “Was it good for you?” that your partner’s resounding YES was 100% the real deal.

Unfortunately for men, women are much better at handing out empty compliments and “job well done”s than we are at offering constructive criticism. Meaning that you could be walking around with that extra swagger in your step, without any idea of what you might be doing wrong (or how to fix it, for that matter).

Lucky for you, I’m not afraid to hit you with the hard facts: There are certain areas that a lot of men tend to stumble over. So if you really want to knock it out of the park, sexually speaking, allow me to offer a few helpful and totally uncensored pointers. From jumping the gun with dirty talk to not knowing what to do with your hands, here are five common mistakes that you may make in bed, and how to overcome them.

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Today’s episode answers the age old dilemma for men and women: How can I enjoy a more fulfilling sex life? Flooded by listener emails about dissatisfying sex lives, this show focuses on the “orgasm gap” between men and women.

Men tend to arrive to the party earlier than women (on average) so how do we close this gap so everyone can have their fair share of orgasms? Women can have multiple orgasms, so why do men have 3 orgasms for every 1 that women have?

Todays Emily explores the world of the “minute man” and how to last longer in bed. So what is the exact definition of Premature Ejaculation (PE)? In the studio contributing to the dialogue along with Anderson is Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent, the only FDA approved treatment for PE.

Sure, Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is covered by drugs such a Viagra but there’s never been a fix for PE or even for guys who just want to last longer in bed. If she takes 25 minutes to climax and he takes 10 minutes, what’s the solution? Continue Reading

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UnknownAccording to an article from Psychology Today “only 25% of women are consistently orgasmic during vaginal intercourse.” Even if you can have an orgasm from penile stimulation  there’s no guarantee that a women will experience the big O every time she has sex. Only “about half of women sometimes have orgasms during intercourse. About 20% seldom or ever have orgasms during intercourse. and about 5% never have orgasms period.” Couples have to navigate the difference between their orgasms themselves. Each individual is responsible for their pleasure, but it helps when both partners make their needs known and can openly communicate about what they need. Statistics aside, it’s clear that both men and women need insight and advice for closing the orgasm gap. Continue Reading