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xxx

Emily

Join me at the 2nd Annual White Party at the Playboy Mansion and Ultimate Weekend May 23-25. Tickets still available. More info at www.mansionmix.com

I promise this will be your best memorial day ever (or at least super close) xxx e

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Everything is feeling amazing and the mood is perfect, is reaching for a condom going to disrupt the passion? In this day and age reaching for a condom means that sex with multiple partners is safe and acceptable, but what happens when we decide to go without the rubber? When is it safe? Birth control, whether it be oral, intrauterine, or permanent (vasectomy or tube tying) should not be the main reason for NOT using condoms, but it often is. Many times, especially when in a monogamous relationship, people who have a different form of birth control (pill, intrauterine, etc.) go without a condom. What happens when we rely on birth control and go sans condom? What about disease people? Just because someone is in a committed relationship does not mean that one party isn’t cheating. We typically neglect this idea. I have found that most people know that sex without a condom feels completely different and far better, but I have also found a few individuals that swear by condoms and refuse to have sex without them, regardless of if the girl is on some form of birth control. But, the main point that I am trying to make is that it’s so common that we veto condoms. How many times have you done the, “I’ll pull out” or “just put it in for a minute” trick?

This is not about cheaters that are in a committed relationship, this is more about people who choose to juggle.  Recently, I have been finding that many of my friends and fellow collegiates have been finding ways to manipulate people in order to have sex with more than one person at a particular time (not threesome, foursomes, or any type of orgy).  What constitutes cheating, or more importantly a cheater?  Is it cheating if we decide that it is okay to screw around, even if the other party says that it’s fine?  So many variables play into the concept of cheating or juggling.  I say juggling because as I said before, I am speaking of the people who are NOT in a committed relationship.  Granted in the real world people date more than one person at a time and I’m sure they sleep with them as well, but in college the dating game is completely different.  We hook up with people, then if that continues the people who are hopefully having great sex have a discussion about hooking up exclusively—there’s typically no talk about what will happen if either person has sex with someone else in the beginning.  Is that cheating?  Is it acceptable to be hurt or upset when we are told that the person that we have been sexual active with is humping someone else while knowing we are not committed?  There is no definition of cheating; each person has his or her own concept.  I have come to realize that, just as

Spank, bite, suck, and *@$%--four words that might be somewhat enticing to even the most proper of people.  Sure, love making like people do in the movies looks less kinky and far more sensual, but hot, rough sex is something most people yearn for, they just don’t have the guts to speak about it.  It is too often that we envision sex to be the passionate make-out session leading into the effortless removal of clothing and then falling gracefully onto the bed.  Sounds fun, but a bit cliché.  Sometimes it just feels so good to experience that rough thrust or grind.  Or maybe, you get turned on when that certain someone grabs your skin tight and drags his or her nails down your back.  It’s OK to have rough, crazy sex.  In fact, sometimes it is necessary.  Everyone needs to let out some aggression and maybe, just maybe, being a little rough is a fantasy of yours, so why not enjoy it?  A lot of people shy away from rough sex because they don’t want to feel as if they are being used, but if there is a mutual understanding then why hinder great sex?  I’m not saying that you need to use a ball-gag or whips and chains, anything that is extreme for your personal taste could be considered rough sex.  Every person has his or her own schema of what sex should be like and if that means that doggie style is your idea of rough screwing than maybe that is what you should try.  For others, down an

When do we decide that it is time to “settle down?”  When do we get bored finding people to have sex with for x-amount of time and know pretty much all along that it is never going to lead into a relationship?  Sure, it’s fun and easy to have casual sex, even if it is somewhat monogamous, but I question whether or not it is possible to just have a physical relationship.  Are we afraid to ask for more in the person that we are sleeping with?  It is the nearing the end of my third year in college and I hear more and more from my friends that they are bored with their sex life—even though the sex is not the problem.  The problem is figuring out if you’re bored being single or not.  Keep in mind, in many social scenes it’s the same song and dance ever weekend; go to the bar, say hi to every person you know, spot that very attractive person and go for it, and then maybe-if your lucky-hook up continuously for awhile.  I wonder why we do this to ourselves; i.e.

Seems as if the ideal college experience for many guys is to party like a rock star and have as much sex as one too!  I’m all for a good, safe time, but when does one realize that maybe having sex without any feelings isn’t quite as good as sex with some emotion?  I only say “screwing like a dude” because I have met many guys that seem to believe that having a girlfriend in college is not that way things should be.  Rather, these gentlemen should be going at a new girl every-other weekend.  This brings up issues of the double standard; guys can have sex with as many people as they want and they will be praised while a girl who does the same will be deemed a slut or a whore and the issue of suppressing true feelings.  I am not saying that casual sex is a bad thing. I think it’s a great alternative, especially if one truly cannot commit, but is it really possible to have sex without any feelings involved?  Lets say you sleep with the same person ‘casually’ 3 or 4 times, can you honestly tell me you have ZERO feelings towards that person?  If you enjoy the sex, does that mean you enjoy the person as well?  There a few ways of strictly “screwing like a dude,” one way would be to sleep with each person only 1 or 2 times and then forget about them-I DO NOT recommend this.  Keep in mind: the better we learn our partner’s body and the better they learn ours, the EVEN better the sex will be!!

After a couple drinks we often find ourselves being far more attracted to people surrounding us, so why choose to go home with one of those people?  I say one of those people because I am unsure as to whether or not we really think about those that we hook up with once we are somewhat inebriated.  How many times have you gone home or brought somebody back that you barely know?  Its ok, we’ve all been there.  Whether we kiss a person or sleep with them, it’s evident that our judgment fades quite a bit once we have had a drink, or five.  I’m not speaking on behalf of every college student, because it’s obvious that some of us can make good decisions.  So you’ve had a great night, it was fun and you got some booty, but I suppose the real question is what do we do in the morning?  Roll over and pretend like nothing happened?  Try to see if this person has potential to date?  Sure its exciting and mysterious, but this all leads back to the age old issue of STD/STI’s—if you don’t know a person, how can you be sure that he/she is clean?!  The point is, we need to be careful and chose wisely, even if it’s hard to say no.  Now, I’m all for earth-shattering sex, but lets be safe.

It starts with a kiss and usually ends with oral sex, it’s all of the in between before intercourse: FOREPLAY.  How much do we need versus how much do we want?  Every person has there own idea and standard as to what constitutes great foreplay, to each his own.  However, within the different “bases” of foreplay (kissing, feeling, oral) there are certain issues that may arise.  For example, do I smell ok?  Am I taking too long to reach orgasm?  Do I need more stimulation and don’t know how to ask for it?  It seems that the little questions we ask are especially prevalent when we have sexual encounters with a new partner.  There’s an anxious and sometimes shy response to foreplay when it’s the first sexual experience with a person.  Foreplay is often more personal that intercourse--many people may not agree with that statement because intercourse is seen as an act of love, but keep in mind that letting a person kiss your genitals can make one feel far more vulnerable than they may feel having sex.  And it should be realized that foreplay isn’t always necessary because the mind and the body are so connected; this means that because our minds are thinking “sex”, our bodies can produce the rush of blood to the genitals and provide sufficient lubrication necessary for intercourse.  Either way, the touching, rubbing, licking, and sucking of each others bodies is often one of the best ways to learn about a partners body.  So, what are your thoughts on foreplay?  Do you want a long pre-action, action session or just a little will get you all the way? 

Dildos, vibrators, and sex swings oh my!  If you haven’t used a sex toy, I know you’ve heard about them or had some curiosity about what it might feel like to use one.  From finger vibrators to virtual stimulation body suits, anyone can get their kicks in a plethora of ways.  Sex toys are not a new phenomenon by any means, but they are becoming more socially acceptable-there are sex stores on almost every major college campus in the U.S.  The most common sex toy amongst many is the vibrating cock ring.  This mini vibrator is connected to a rubbery, round cock ring and is said to give an orgasm a major boost.  Many of my peers have been known to use the vibrating cock ring because it’s not as overt as a massive silicon penis, its far more discreet and their male partner can feel the vibrations as well.  My dear friend Katie swears by them, “I get off multiple times and Joe loves the tingly vibration.”  I’m a huge believer in trying new things and I feel the same when discussing sex toys; if you and your partner are willing to bring a little or big device into the mix, you might say goodbye to au natural sex.  The human mind is fascinating and so is the body, stimulate both and the intensity of your orgasm can be limitless.  If there is a piece of plastic or rubber that can enhance your sexual experience, why not give it a try?   

The ancient Kama Sutra sets precedent for all sexual positions, whether they require little skill or force you into being a contortionist.  From oral sex to intercourse, the desire to spice up the positions we have tried is paramount.  But, what is it that’s so appealing when it comes to acrobatics in the boudoir?  Maybe it’s our boredom and need for the new or maybe it’s because we are curious beings.  Either way, I suppose there should always be some humor when trying new and erotic positions because if you can’t laugh at yourself when your trying to reach one leg behind your head and the other who knows where, you probably shouldn’t be trying a tendon-pulling position.  It seems that many people forget about the actual sensation of intercourse while trying a titillating position--if you have to concentrate too much on where your limbs are going, you’re probably not enjoying the sex!  Sure, it’s a good laugh when your fumbling in and out of positions, but be weary of the sex: sex should be pleasurable.  Sometimes it’s good to stick to the basics, especially when you’re in need of some earth-shattering orgasms.  Granted the same 3 or 4 positions, you know which ones I am talking about (missionary, doggy, girl-on-top, etc.), get somewhat monotonous, they are that way for a good reason.  Reason being, they provide a simple and well explored means for arousal and reaching orgasm.  Everyone should try

It’s our sexual history with out explanation, a simple quantitative value, so lets have it: “what’s your number?”  Why is it that people want to know the answer to that question?  I completely understand the curiosity if a person wants to know because they are concerned about sexually transmitted diseases/infections, but does the number really matter?  I once was told that if you tell a man your number he will envision that many penises in the room the next time you have sex.  I thought this was completely ridiculous, but after speaking to some friends I found this to be fairly accurate.  I wonder if we are curious because of our innate competitive nature; “I need to be his or her best.”  But, what if for example, we are speaking of a heterosexual couple who has been dating for a week or so and that question arises, when she tells him that the number is 15, does he panic and lose his confidence in the bedroom simply because he has slept with 7 people?  It makes no sense!  Some people go through life having had sex with only their life partner; others have slept with hundreds...who has the right to judge?  I don’t!  As bold as it may be to say, I find this question null unless we are discussing sexual history for medical reasons (i.e.

Get it up and keeping it up-a very touchy subject for many guys.  Well guess what, it affects your partner as well!  No one wants to feel inadequate when getting intimate with someone.  One of the biggest problems with whiskey dick, impotence, or the inability to stand at attention is that both parties typically feel like there is something “wrong.”  I cannot stand that we deem sexual things “wrong”...to each his own as long as it is practiced safely.  Often, women especially, feel as if there is something “wrong” with them; are they not attractive enough, not using the “correct” oral sex skills, or just bad in the bedroom?  Keep in mind the typical causes for lack of a hard on are 1) lack of focus or too much focus (pressure to perform) and 2) biology (an erection is simply a massive supply of blood flow to the penis, alcohol and other toxins can hinder blood flow--that is somewhat out of your control).  How do we handle this situation?  Open your mouth!  Explain that you had too much to drink or tell your partner what really turns you on-chances are your really into one another if your performing sexual acts.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; communicate!  No one wants to feel like they are at fault for their steamy session being cut short.