The Creepy Scientist

By Lauren

I went on a date the other day… and what I left with is proof that money, status, and a fancy car is not the ultimate recipe to landing ladies.

Growing up my mother instilled in me that I should only date the most eligible gentlemen that society has to offer.

Cue the Scientist.

I had met him one day randomly while waiting for my latte. He requested my number after some quick banter and while I’m usually not down for the “cute meet,” I surrendered the digits. He did say he was a P.h.D….

The date went well and he was starting to look great on paper: newly minted P.h.D scientist from some pretentious school, 6′ 4″, good looking, apparently a big beautiful home in the city, etc… To the “starving college student” that looks pretty damn attractive! He was a gentleman and while the sparks weren’t exactly shooting off, we had some witty conversation.

2nd date: The Creep

If only he had listened to Emily’s show last week about ‘creepy moves that guys make’

It started simple enough; dinner and a movie. The meal went great until he pulled an amateur move and took my hand in a vice-like handhold. Now I’m all for holding hands, in fact, I love it! But, this was a second date and I have yet to even hear his last name.

Lesson #1: Reserve the handhold until you’re no longer a stranger.

Luckily, the waiter came to deliver our food and I quickly stole my hand back.

I let the handholding go as an awkward wooing move because I was having a pretty good time. However, when we stepped into the movie theater I realized he’s probably going to try this maneuver again. It came as no surprise that I was right. Even though I strategically placed my arms in a way to make it difficult to get to, he still awkwardly took it again…. And again after I took it back.

I was happy when the movie was over because I was definitely over this date. When we were walking back to his car he reached for my hand again.

It was here that I let him know that he had entered the creeper zone, never to return.

I was a bit stern with him, so I was surprised when he texted me the next morning. He seemed completely unfazed by the previous nights transgression (which made the whole thing even creepier) and requested a third date. Unfortunately, I was not up for seeing what types of “moves” he had in store for date #3.

I had officially dismissed the previous thought that it’d be easier to forgive the ‘good on paper’ guy for his deal breaking transgressions. It doesn’t matter how nice a lifestyle a guy has. At the end of the day, he can’t hide his awkward moves, which have become a creepy tale that will spread to females everywhere.