The Perfect Man

I just had a conversation about Mr. Potato Head– AKA my dream man– with my girlfriends while rubbing ourselves in mud in Calistoga. We were reminiscing about the many men we have dated over the years and how we wish we cut and paste them together to make one man…

Wouldn’t it be great to take like the eyes of your last boyfriend?

The shoulders from the guy before that?

The brain of that one guy?

The job of that other guy?

The mother of the guy before?

And his penis?

It’s like we all want a Mr. Potato Head man. You know Mr. Potato Head, that cute, fat little bald guy that we used to assemble as kids. You can change their nose, ears, arms, hands, hat, and make them more intelligent looking with glasses.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could combine characteristics of certain men to create the one we want? Someone who’s good in bed and is a nice person. Imagine being able to piece together all the men you’ve dated to create the perfect Mr. Potato Head boyfriend.

But unfortunately life doesn’t work that way. You can’t create somebody as sexy and wonderful as Mr. Potato Head. But you can recognize the traits you valued in your last partners. So when you’re looking for a new playmate you can be cognizant of the qualities you really need. While his nose and ears are interchangeable, his personality is something you should never settle on. No man is perfect, but you can find someone whose pieces fit together in a way you love.

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Discussion about this post

  1. Valentina says:

    to my husband, Emily was just here! He said, who and I had to say, the blog lady and he itemdiaemly knows who I’m talking about. hahah anyways, I tried to read through all of the comments, but it’s getting late and page 3 was as far as I made it. I apologize if this question was already asked.1.) I remember reading you went to APU, so I was wondering if you are originally from Washington or did you grow up in California? If you grew up in Washington, what made you choose APU as a college?My good friend (a native Californian, but just moved back from Seattle) and I were talking about the differences between Californians and Washingtonians (I think I just made up that word). She said the people are so down to earth and real in Washington and making friends (true friends) was so much easier. She misses the honesty people had up there. I was born and raised in Orange County, California and I have struggled with this too. Finding real people. Down to earth people who are open and honest and not trying to put on a face for what others want to see. Anyways your name (blog) came into our conversation about how real you are and how we would love to have a friend like you. So, thank you for being so open and honest and for being a good cyber friend. We need more Emilys in CA!Once again, thank you for what you do. Keep on being an inspiration to so many of us and let your light shine!

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