The Perfect Man

I just had a conversation about Mr. Potato Head– AKA my dream man– with my girlfriends while rubbing ourselves in mud in Calistoga. We were reminiscing about the many men we have dated over the years and how we wish we cut and paste them together to make one man…

Wouldn’t it be great to take like the eyes of your last boyfriend?

The shoulders from the guy before that?

The brain of that one guy?

The job of that other guy?

The mother of the guy before?

And his penis?

It’s like we all want a Mr. Potato Head man. You know Mr. Potato Head, that cute, fat little bald guy that we used to assemble as kids. You can change their nose, ears, arms, hands, hat, and make them more intelligent looking with glasses.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could combine characteristics of certain men to create the one we want? Someone who’s good in bed and is a nice person. Imagine being able to piece together all the men you’ve dated to create the perfect Mr. Potato Head boyfriend.

But unfortunately life doesn’t work that way. You can’t create somebody as sexy and wonderful as Mr. Potato Head. But you can recognize the traits you valued in your last partners. So when you’re looking for a new playmate you can be cognizant of the qualities you really need. While his nose and ears are interchangeable, his personality is something you should never settle on. No man is perfect, but you can find someone whose pieces fit together in a way you love.

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