The Rise of the Half Night Stand

Screen Shot 2016-11-04 at 12.40.57 AM

Screen Shot 2016-11-04 at 12.40.57 AMThe walk of shame. Most of us are familiar with the act, many of us have experienced it. If you haven’t, you’ve at least caught someone in the midst of their own. The messed up hair, the unkempt outfit from the night before, the black smears of makeup, and if it was really a wild night, the shoes are in the hand and not on the feet.

This less than glorious act, almost a rite of passage in a woman’s (or a man’s) sexual course, is usually preceded by the infamous one night stand. You went out, imbibed a little (or a lot), someone caught your eye, and all of a sudden you’re seeing the inside of their bedroom. Or maybe it was late, you were bored, went on Tinder and swiped away until your match was set. The actual sex? If you’re lucky, it’s more than mediocre. It might even have been worth the early morning stroll that followed.

But that’s not always the case now, is it? For the times that the rendezvous is rather unsatisfactory, spending the night can feel like an unnecessary obligation. It’s not like you’re laying in wait for Round 2. You probably won’t cuddle. Hell, you might even be considering finding a quiet place to finish the job yourself. Well move over one night stands, because we’re adopting the half night stand.

Not a day goes by that there isn’t at least one article devoted to the analyzation of the millennial generation. We’re just so gosh darn fascinating. Our television choices, our social media presence, the way we eat, and especially the way we handle sex and relationships. The half night stand is our next new adaptation to sex. Instead of staying the whole night, put your clothes back on, thank each other for the orgasm (if you had one), and bid your casual sex partner adieu.

In the past, committing a half night stand meant you were so emotionally shut off, you couldn’t be bothered to stick around and feign interest until sunrise. God forbid a woman actually wanted no strings sex! The men who couldn’t get their pants on any faster were seen as insensitive tools, using their partners for their own gain. Now, in a sea of negative connotations, the half night stand is washing ashore with a more positive following. In fact, a short docuseries hosted by Maya Jama gives you the scoop on the popularity of this approach to sex.

Benefits of Skipping the Sleepover:

For Her:

Most of the time, you know that this sexual venture you find yourself on won’t be repeated. Unless you felt a surreal connection, the bar patron you found is not your knight in shining armor in civilian’s clothing. We once felt the need to stick around as a formality, or out of politeness, but why succumb ourselves to the potential awkwardness that follows? If you’ve gotten what you’ve came for (and distinctly if you didn’t), why stick around to be courteous? Why not get a restful night’s sleep in the comfort of your own bed? It sounds nice, doesn’t it? Waking up after a wild night and already being home?

We hope that staying the night, sleeping next to each other, and cuddling will be tender and soothing, but most of the time, it’s one of the worst “sleeps” you’ll have all week. Unless he/she is cooking breakfast for you in the morning, there is no need to lose precious snoozing time because you shook hands with a stranger’s genitals. Plus, why try to feel more cosy than you intended for a one time kind of deal? All that brings is attachment and over-analyzation, which is what we were trying to avoid in the first place… Right?

For Him:

Whether you found him/her on Tinder, or scoping you out at the bar, you’re happy that you found SOMETHING to keep the night going. Men get a lot of flack for their lack of compassion, making the half night stand seem very insensitive and “typical.” It’s becoming more and more prevalent that men are not the only ones who are looking for casual sex; women are too.  These women are confident and know what they want; they do not need to be validated by your gesture of staying until morning. If the person you went home with knows where you stand, it won’t be devastating if you choose not to spend the night. As long as you aren’t slinking out through the fire escape as soon as they fall asleep, that is. Being upfront with someone is the best way to go about any situation and keeps things from getting complicated. In fact, the other person will hold you with high regards for treating them with honesty and respect.

How it Can Be Troublesome (For Anyone):

Our lives are constantly moving and changing. We are finishing school, trying to find our career, working jobs to make our rent… I commend anyone that finds time for a relationship in this multitasking society we’ve built for ourselves. So, we settle for these random half night stands in order to escape the stresses of daily life for even a small moment. Forget the woes and let out the O’s! However, as time goes on, those temporary instances of happiness or release can begin to feel very… Unfulfilling. Eventually, your carefree attitude towards sex will have run its course and you’ll be finding yourself searching for something more satisfying.

Everyone’s timeline is different; some are short-lived and others are in it for the long haul, but it’s never going to be perfect happiness. Don’t forget that there will be people out there that are worth staying the night for and developing a relationship with. It’s all about the feel of the moment, if the time is right, and if you’re wanting more than just a one-time encounter. Don’t be the “cool girl” or the “macho guy” with no strings attached if eventually, you want strings.

Half night stands may be replacing one night stands, but they won’t fill the void in your life if your hookup plot has reached its denouement. However, if you’re still cruising through the rising action in the movie version of your search for love, cut some of those intimate evenings in half.

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Discussion about this post

  1. Suzanne says:

    My opinion is that half-night stands exist more due to the parners being married. Social media has individuals seeking others so easily nowadays. People can meet up with someone, have fun for a few ours then get home. Brings “spice” into their lives without having a romantic connection.

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